OnLine With Zoe

All Mothers Day

I really know nothing about being a mother.  I have lots of opinions of what is right and wrong about it which is my foolproof compass for being certain I know nothing about it.  But I am obsessing about the hatched tiny birds in the eaves under the front gutter.  Two couples are grazing the backyard (very tasty) and feeding their noisy newbies; all on view from my library window.  These couples escort Spring and announce tomato planting time every year, as they nest in my very trendy condos.

I know holding babies is more fun than expected and letting go (from the point of view of the escapee) is very painful.  Today thousands of people stood in line to order eggs Benedict with mimosas and florists are losing their profits on gas for their delivery trucks.  Its Mother’s Day and Hallmark, chocolatiers and jewelers will be sad to see it go.  This morning TCM played Mildred Pierce and tonight housewives will be desperate. 

The only mothering I really have any claim to is giving my all to the American Women’s Movement.  Admittedly it is a shared pregnancy and we don’t know yet when the birth will be complete ~ we do know it’s a girl!  Stanton knew all about mothering and Anthony had her insights about the demands of children.  Do you think they would have ever guessed that in 2008 we would still be preggers, maybe on oxygen; some days it feeling like we need life support? 

Today there are hundreds of thousands of women in America who get it; that until a woman in the leader of the country, Commander in Chief, the job will not be done.  They are making phone calls, walking districts, holding fundraisers, driving voters to the polls: Mothers, Everyone.  Chances are strong that their daughters may not really understand the urgency, the importance, the relevance in their lives.  If they have not yet come to feel the impact of the failure of the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act in the Senate, had an unwanted pregnancy, been a single mother with a couple of kids; they may think all this ranting and raving by their moms seems, at best nostalgic and at worst artifice.  Chances are most are not disturbed that “The Cult of True Womanhood,” is alive and well, demonstrated  this week by Washington University awarding an Honorary Degree on Mrs. Phyllis Schlafly.   

The contractions of this birth of American Women as full citizens are exhausting and require hope.  I think Hillary Clinton gets it.  I am deeply worried that Barack Obama doesn’t.  He tells us about his grandmother, mother, wife and daughters but publically gives Hillary Clinton the finger.  That offends me.  He is not a vocal champion of equality for women.  I have never heard him speak about economic or reproductive justice for women.  Women of Color make 69 cents on the dollar compared to men.  They need fair pay, equal rights under the law, representation in government and the courts most.

Who are these people who are telling Senator Clinton to concede?  They do not understand the tenacity of mothers-to-be.  We see the possibilities and know that, even if this current contraction is not the last in breaking the marble ceiling, it will not end the pregnancy.  I do not want to scrape the Clinton 2008 sticker off my car because it is for all women : Women of Color and White.  Pay all women 100% and all families will benefit.   Now there’s a Mother’s Day present.

Nellie McKay at the 2008 CA NOW Conference

My Imagination Dances with Joy

I had the oddest experience this week in regards to the national campaign.  I was watching Senator and Michelle Obama talking with Meredith Viera on the Today show; repeated many times on cable.  It was a compact little trio; Michelle, with her legs pulled up on the chair and her head down, as if to transmit,, “This is his interview, not mine.”  She did not have her face up and lit which stopped a question gracefully being addressed to her.  Meredith’s head facing them and, it appeared, they were sitting very, very close as we took the point of view from the back of her head. 
 
Senator Obama has on a pastel shirt and shiny tie.  He was talking low and quiet as I had never seen which was the outcome of not being in an arena, ball field, debate, deli, etc.  Curiously, Kathleen Hall Jamieson on the Bill Moyer’s Journal Friday, said this interview was the equivalent of Reagan’s TV commercial about his being, “just plain folks.”  Little Ronnie growing up and being one of us.  It was a conciliatory ad hoping to make scary warrior Ron Reagan seem like the kid in the next desk in fourth grade, the kid hitting a double at the game, a union guy; just a guy.

The interview drew me in as if I was pulling up a chair.  My 32” flat screen TV let me make the triangle a quartet.  My thoughts became like ones I have when in a conversation as opposed to watching TV.  And unexpectedly, I thought, “he is just a man in a tie.” 

I launched into an interesting interior conversation ~
        He is not just a guy, he is the first African American who may be president! 
        But you did not see a Black man you saw a man. 
        Of course I saw a Black man, it would be disrespectful to not see his race. 
        No, you spent decades longing for equality, not seeing race first is the point! 
        A Black man in the Whitehouse would make that even more possible for everyone. 
        How irresistible.    

I am glad I had this epiphany, a thought new and unexpected.  Does it hold truth?  It must be tested.  So I lived with it for a day and my love affair with electing Hillary Clinton has deepened even more.  Can you imagine?  But it is true.  Could you have a female president and just think it is natural?  Can we listen to a woman speak and not see a sex object to be dissected, rated, packaged? Not judge as mother, daughter, wife ~ or any value defined by association ~ standing on her own?  Not fall to religious stereotypes.  Not titter over shallow jokes or vicious pejoratives whose cutting edges have been diminished with usage. 

I swoon over the magic of a woman leader whose gender is seen as fine, refined, balanced and natural.  I was having a blast thinking of my brother sitting in front of his TV, listening to a female president and finding his mind lapsing (maybe for only a moment) that the president is a woman.   The cascading effects make me dance inside and out. 

This is a Deal Breaker

I grew up before the time of Barbies and American Girl dolls and after Ginny and storybook dolls.  Mine were Madam Alexander and Tiny Tears.  When I was five I started saying Mass for them and used white poker chips for their Holy Communion.  When I was seven my dad was very sick and priests came to the house to say Mass and distribute consecrated Eucharist.  Non-consecrated hosts were kept in the house and my parents let me use one or two for my doll congregation.  I fully expected to be a priest when I got older and no one bothered me with the truth ~ that I couldn’t be.  The future (and John XXIII) could change all that anyway.

And so this devout little girl listened to all kinds of sermons with great enthusiasm.  Until one Sunday when there was this odd declaration from the pulpit that parents should not let their children watch Ed Sullivan that night as Elvis (who?) was going to be on.  Who was this man that was so wicked he warranted being admonished by a priest at Sunday Mass?  Could his form of evil come right through the box of wires and light?  WOW.  I wanted to see that.  The point being that even at six or seven, I was clear that I would determine what I would and would not accept as appropriate from the pulpit at a Sunday Service. 

As I got older I got even more hip to what was going on.  Pastors were telling people what movies to not see, TV to watch, who to vote for, what is a sin, who should be in church, GIRLS SHOULD NOT BE PRIESTS.  Bingo - Deal breaker.  So I got more discerning and looked for priests that were more in my definition of what a representative of Jesus would say.  From ages thirteen to twenty-one, I looked.  I changed “celebrants” many times.  Redemptorists, Diocesans, Franciscans; both Black and Brown (orders of priests); I searched for ones that inspired and challenged, taught and interpreted, shared insight and grace.  At twenty-one, it was clear that no one in the pulpit inspired me. 

I did not want to hear any more about judgment, sin, damnation, evil, sexism, racism, homophobia, righteousness.  So I stopped.  I stopped going.  And my seeking continued, progressed, expanded and never stopped.  How could anyone sit in a pew to listen year after year, marry their sweetheart, bring their children, share one’s inner life with a pastor and when convenient, when the world can see in, say that he does not agree with the preaching.

I am genuinely befuddled about this.  I am around many sincere Christians who find their pastors/priests inspiring, informative; their touchstone in a world gone mad.  I know many Jewish people who have gone from temple to temple to find the certain Rabbi that speaks to their soul.  And in the world of Buddhism practitioners know that finding one’s teacher is part of the journey of self-discovery.  His Holiness, the Dalia Lama rings my bell at the deepest core of my being.  I just look at his photo and feel my smile spreading warmth through to my soul. 

I want to ask something I have not heard sincerely asked, what does it say about a member in a congregation who disagrees with the essential teachings of their pastor and 1) remains in the community for twenty years and THEN 2) ditches his pastor when the world gets wind of it.  Is this convenience?  Is this disingenuous?  He wants me to think he is really smart, really insightful, really loyal and I can trust him – but, to me, this is a demonstration of very bad judgment.    How can Senator Obama say, “I had no idea that this man was saying all of these things.”  It sounds like a marriage in which no one communicated honestly for two decades, feigned true care and now dumps the association as it does not serve their purposes. 
    
Isn’t this what we want from people in the military?  To be able to say to their commanding officers, “no, this is not moral.”  Or for kids to say to their peers, “no I won’t jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.”  This is what I expect from myself.  If and when someone speaks about things which I find unjust, no matter how difficult, I have to say NO.  I demonstrate by leaving as soon as it is apparent that it will not / cannot change.  To remain is my approval.  The only question is how long does it take for the facts to be revealed.  Maturity and consciousness is measured by one's ability to size up a situation and match it with the proportionate response. 

And even more important to me is watching how this congregant is peeling off his relationship – like a used wetsuit after years in the surf.  This is not a an artificial layer.  This is not merely a surface shell.  In the context of a twenty year relationship, the leader of the congregation has been invited into one’s mind, one’s heart, one’s soul.  Jessup or Jones make that clear, Graham or Falwell make that clear ~ bad or good. 

I do not believe that Barack Obama sat in his pew not hearing, not responding.  Moreover, I do believe that Barack Obama loved his pastor, his pastor loved him.  I am just disgusted that either and/or both are disavowing one another.   That is a Deal Breaker.

A Terrible Day for Women

Get the popcorn and hankies; it was quite a day in the US Senate. 

It began with hearings on Tibet at 11:30 chaired by Barbara Boxer.  As Richard Gere said, it was particularly moving to hear how much the Senators know and care.  Until today, I thought they didn’t really know what was going on and the loss of Tom Lantos would bring them to know nothing collectively.  They talked about the six million Tibetans who are displaced, especially the most esteemed Dalai Lama himself. 

The enormous outbreak of violence that occurred March 10, 2008 had been percolating for 58 years even though the PRC said it was a contemporary uprising fueled by His Holiness.  I can’t imagine that anyone would be so stupid as to blame anything violent on him ~ it is the ultimate disclosure that they are lying.  Lodi Gyari, envoy for HHDL, said that living the life of non-violence is the most difficult way of life.  He explained that a few years ago, visiting the village of his youth, he had to manage his commitment to non-violence every minute, every moment as he watched the terrible violations of human rights. 

Richard Gere said something amazing, that the Tibetans “think of America as a beacon of freedom and it is very important to them.”  As a Buddhist, I want to say that I felt it as a call to be that; to be all that they think we are.  And to think well of others, to believe the best, to call others to be their best.  Their suggested remedies are to open a Consulate in Lhasa, President Bush to visit Tibet after the Olympic opening ceremonies in Beijing, allow press access to Tibet and opening Friendship Bridge which the PRC closed.   

Immediately following the hearings on Tibet, the Senate discussed HR 2831 Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.   Ted Kennedy had a fine fit, emotionally opening the debate, waving papers in his hand, pointing to a easel board showing how this is erasing 40 years of civil rights.  I have to tell you, I could not imagine who could speak against this act or what they would say.
Senators Clinton and Obama spoke.  Senator Schumer explained that the Supreme Court decision was un-American.  Justice Ginsberg called it mean, uncharacteristically reading her dissent from the bench.   She said that the court doesn’t comprehend or is indifferent to the real world circumstances confronting working women.  Fundamentally, Lily Ledbetter (present in the gallery) represents the 12 million women who are paid 77 cents or less for a male-earned dollar.  Women, who need the work as much as men, are not going to threaten their employment by asking their male contemporaries what they earn, complain if it is not equal and file a lawsuit. 

Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-Maryland) invoked Abigail Adams.  She explained that Lily represents 150 million who list pay equity as their number one issue.  Finally she said, “Tell everyone about this ignominious decision as it is a call to arms;
1) Put on your lipstick
2) Square your shoulders
3) Suit up
We’ve got a hell of a fight coming but we are ready, THE REVOLUTION STARTS TONIGHT.” 

Sexism - shudda been retired by now (NOW).

What a way to start a Monday morning.  Attachment is a struggle, particularly when it is to something so right.  Today I am speaking on Equal Rights again.  I figured by now it would only be for nostaligia - sort of like rolling out the old one to hear good ole stories.  And yet, Ledbetter Fair Pay is stalled in the Senate (What is Feinstien thinking?). 

If you do only one thing - one thing for the ERA - Call 850 488-1450 to clog the office lines of FL House Speaker Rubio's office for THE NEXT 10 DAYS.  HE is the obstacle to ERA now.  SPEAK to or leave a message for ONLY the Speaker OR Bob Ward his Chief of Staff .  SAY: "I am calling to urge the Speaker to put his power and weight behind calendaring the ERA bill in the House right away." We KNOW that he can. He said for TV that he is for equality as he has 2 daughters. He needs to stand up for them now.

Watch this video, if you dare.  Attachment is mine.  I hope it is yours.

My Candidate ~ My Classroom

Do you have a quotation that serves your life, your entire life, like a sextant as you cross the sea?  And can you narrow it to one?  Oddly, I do.  Or not so oddly, if you know me well.  “We are all beings in a school for gods in which we learn in slow motion the consequences of thought,”  from Joy's Way by Dr. Brugh Joy.  Not only is this the North star on my world map but it reminds me that life is a classroom. 

The current presidential election has thrown me into a graduate course that is unexpected, extremely personal, truly difficult and really fascinates me.  What are the central lessons?  How can they be viewed, managed, and discussed while not taking a cheap shot, drawing a shallow conclusion or discarding them as too divisive?  My email inbox is filled with letters and articles that do just that and I want something more.

I know myself fairly well and fundamentally I am interested in American social justice; being a woman, feminism is the natural fit.  I am a student of Liberation Theology, so American social justice based on race has always been an obvious parallel.  All of which is true for the poor, immigrants seeking safety, mentally challenged, the imprisoned… all too many categories.  In fact, for me, that is the current US political lesson.  How can the marginalized stop competing, as if contestants in a pity pageant replete with winners and losers.  What is the trump card? Is my trump invalid for you?  Is your trump invalid for me? 

Two hundred kids eating gruel at the orphanage table, “I am hungrier.”  “I have been here longer.”  “I am older.”  “I am frail.”  “I am sick.”  They squabble amongst themselves.  Fights breakout in the dining hall and the end result is the headmaster,to end the chaos and punish, sends them all to bed.  Do I lobby for the girls?  Do I look for the ones most hungry?  Do I step in and try to line them up by some imaginary criteria based on a presumed understanding of how they got there?  This one was brought by car, this one by ship, this one crawled through extreme danger, this one escaped gunfire, this one had sex with one of the teachers, this one is blind, this one is insane.  None of those are decent ideas.  None of them.  The entire point of social justice was to get rid of the intoxicating power of the headmaster.  Mind you I did not say get rid of the headmaster, just the imbalance of power.  To be a true liberator you can't oppress one group to free another; nor oppress the headmaster. 

Until this election unfolded, I have been so hopeful about a woman commanding the Whitehouse, a democrat and am particularly glad it is Senator Hillary Clinton.  It was in keeping with my values concerning presidential electoral politics.  (I would prefer a pacifist but that is not an option in this venue)  Of course any liberal who reads the news knows the terrible contest raging between gender and race.  Someone is trying to line up those orphans.

So here is what I have come to learn.  Barack Obama cannot speak for every Black man.  Hillary Clinton cannot speak for every woman.  But, moreover, neither of them is speaking to end privilege, to liberate the poor, to liberate the human race, to liberate men and women.  Senator Obama may have given the great Black speech of the Century, but I require more ~ I want a great Liberator Speech.

I need someone to talk about the Supreme Court and the moral fabric of our country.  I need someone to talk about the colors of all people, all economic circumstances, all orientations, all religions, all of the oppressed.  Come out of your gender corner, come out of your race corner and speak to all marginalized Americans.   A few weeks ago I wrote that, in regards to Obama and Clinton, I wanted them both; now I am wondering if both of them is enough.  Today's lesson is that my dream candidate is someone who wants to get rid of the intoxicating power of the headmaster, not just defend and advance their personal marginalized group. 

Conflict and War

Guest Blogger, my loved, Buddhist friend, Diane Lee ~

Today is the fifth anniversary the US invasion of Iraq. While some would say this war is just, others deem it unjustified and based on lies. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a society that was brutally invaded and held under the grip of a huge super power struggles to for the survival of their culture. A culture with a rich spiritual tradition, steeped in the steadfast belief in non-violence and compassion. For almost sixty years the world powers have not interceded in this situation. The US continues to borrow money from this brutal opportunistic invader, China. The world will watch as the Olympic Games are hosted by China. And yet, this super power continues to blame a simple monk who hasn’t been home in almost fifty years, for Tibetan resistance. The people of Tibet have rights to preserve their traditions, culture and language that China continues to deny. If the violence continues the Dalai Lama has stated he will give up his seat as the political head of Tibet. This doesn’t sound like a man inspiring violent protests to me. It could be that viewed that the next generation of Tibetans seems to be losing their patience with non-violent ways. Or it could be true that China is staging the violence to justify their continued dominance over this precious jewel.

The world is still watching and doing nothing to help Tibet, while we continue to pour money into a Middle Eastern country that has a commodity that everyone wants (oil). I am struck by contrast of these two conflicts, and the world’s response to them. I still strive to make aspirations for the end to suffering for all beings, even the ones who I disagree with, including the ones who would harm me. Today, I am reminded of a story about His Holiness the Dalai Lama. At the end of a talk he gave, someone asked him, “Why didn’t you fight back against the Chinese”? The Dalai Lama looked down, swung his feet just a bit, and then looked back up with a gentle smile and responded, “Well, war is obsolete you know.” After a few moments, he face turned grave, as he said “Of course, the mind can rationalize fighting back…but the heart, the heart would never understand. Then you would be divided in yourself, the heart and the mind, and the war would be inside of you.”

A Conversation about Ferraro

A response to Courtney of Feministing.com writing about Geraldine Ferraro.

Younger women want to speak, breathe, and live intersectional feminism--the idea that social change emerges at the crossroads of race, class, gender, sexuality, ability etc. Some older women are stuck in a second-wave conception of feminism as wholly focused on gender and championing women no matter what the context or complexities. We see this divide showing up in women's organizations. We see this divide showing up in media coverage. And we see this divide showing up in the interpersonal, every day struggles between feminists of different generations who want to see one another and do good work together.

First, let me say thank you for saying, "Some older women are stuck in a second-wave..." You are the only one to qualify this disturbing fact with the qualifier of the word, "some." I am in the most peculiar of circumstances of being 59 and having one foot in each of the self-imposed label of waves.  My grey hair is in the 2nd wave, my clothes are, rightly so, in the 2nd wave but my conscience is in the 3rd wave.

My hope has been to be a liaison, explaining one to the other and this election has really ripped through my soul. There is a piece coming out in the Nation, Morning in America, (trying to not hammer the reporter for talking about muffins and good china - I can't translate that to men meeting in the AM), I  highlighted one sentence late last night, "...media descriptions of white women as the sole inheritors of the feminist movement and black men as the sole beneficiaries of the civil rights movement."  I had to pause and really survey the context of my political activism.

I don't want to choose one movement over another - the goal has always been to eliminate oppression in all forms.  Is this Sophie's choice? - I hate that.  A mother who has twins, carried for 9 months, and gave birth to her children ~ choosing one or the other is one of the few things that can destroy a soul.  I think it explains why this election is eating away at my, and so many others', very fabric. 

And then there is the anger that, what began as so much good news, has turned into dropping one of my political alliances and banners in my lifelong march for liberation.  And in some cases being told that I am no longer welcome with one group where I had been celebrated.  I still want what I want – but how that wanting became harming another, whom I am drawn to protect, is unexpected, unimaginable, and, at the moment, unsolvable. 

My Evening with Candi

I just cannot resist telling  you about my evening at UCLA.   The freeway was shut due to a mudslide and the Bruins were winning a basketball game home court - enough said about my commute.  I was invited to speak at the annual Daisy Day celebration for Women's History Month.  I was scheduled between Japanese Drumming and a women's chorus.  This was not my finest hour.  As Nellie Mckay says, "feminists have a tumor on their funny bone" and I was not able to translate my fire and brimstone delivery about women's lib in that particular moment.  I knew I was out of sync ~ to put it mildly. 

But following all of that was Candis Cayne of ABC's Dirty Sexy Money.  She was spectacular.  In the course of her humor, glamor and ease, she spoke about what baggage came along with beginning to live in a female body as an adult. The story she shared was the thrill of her first cat-calling whistle some strange guy sent her way.  She was happy and it seemed to be fun.   He continued, "hey baby, look over here."  She continued on her path without turning around.  He escalated into aggression and anger - "How about I put my *&^%%$ in your $%^&#!!"  Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, Candi found out what those of us lucky enough to be born with both a female soul and female body knew very early on ~ all that kind of attention ain't any fun. 

When I spoke with her after, I held her hand, wanting to say how sorry I am that she ever had to know (as I would tell her 6 year old niece who just got the news) but all I could say was how proud I am of her and that the transition must have been a lot more difficult than she had let on during her happy and bright presentation. 

Candis will be speaking at the CA NOW State Conference.  I hope you can make it.  And Helen Reddy!  It is going to be a great day - Saturday, April 19 - more on that later. 

Speaking for Women's History Month

March 6
Daisy Day, an annual UCLA campus-wide tradition that commemorates International Women's Day to raise awareness.
6:30-8:30pm.
De Neve Plaza

March 15
Newport-Mesa-Irvine chapter of the American Association of University Women
Saturday, March 15. 
Lunch meeting, 11:30 to 1:30
North Bluff Clubhouse in Eastbluff, Newport Beach. 

March 21
San Diego Central NOW
The San Diego LGBT Center library
6-9pm. 

April 7
California State University, Bakersfield.
Monday April 7, 7 p.m.
The Multipurpose Room
The Women’s Network
Women & Gender Studies
Liora Gubkin, Chair
654-2314.
Open

Sweet Vacation with Seeds of Peace

I Got Attached & I Blame Dave

I've gone and done something really irritating.  I have gone and gotten all attached to Hillary Clinton being the next President of the United States.  It could be because I spent $48.00 on an Ann Hand rhinestone pin, "Hillary2008," but I really want to blame it on Dave.  I was fairly settled on Edwards until I had dinner with friends and Dave said women will never have full equality in the U.S. until a woman is president.  I dismissed it at the moment and then it started sprouting.  In a few days, it was full grown and now I want nothing less. 

I like O'Bama, though I wish he had closed the deal with the ERA in Illinois while he was there.  He is inspiring and may very well win but then I play out a daydream of his appointing a woman as a running mate and I am mad all over again because it feels like dinner scraps, like left-overs when I could have had the main course. 

So now I am attached.  This activist heart of mine now dreams about possibility.  And what is popping up is so irresistible; women going to Texas, emails from women I admire, amazing sites like Hillary Speaks for Me and Feminists for Clinton and this fantastic video.   

It was easier when I didn't care so much but easy ain't all its cracked up to be.  I am not very good at easy.  As Tina says, "We don't always do things nice and easy."

Doing My Missionary Work

How could it be that I am still living in Orange County?  I am blue (not sad-blue) in the reddest part of California.  I live in the dreaded 46th.  Come on, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is right of Bush.  That is crazy.  When I rented my house, I asked the landlord if he rented to Democrats and he said, "only one at a time,"  controlling the migration pattern.  One friend of mine says I am here doing missionary work though I do not wear a white shirt and ride a bike through the neighborhood.

Election years I take great delight in driving around with my political bumper stickers; Kucinich, Kerry/Edwards, Clinton/Gore ~ now its Hillary.  I used to worry about someone messing with my car but that only happened a few years ago when I had a Lakers flag on the rear window and someone wrote something very nasty on my car.  One time a man sped up in his BMW and I thought for sure I was gonna get the finger for my Kucinich sticker.  Instead the driver gave me a thumbs up!  I was shocked.

Yesterday I was knee-deep in a pretty bad day.  I couldn't find a movie to see so I set out to the two closest shopping centers; Fashion Island and South Coast Plaza.  With my Hillary 2008 rhinestone pin on my Eileen Fisher vest, I took off for an adventure shopping.   Who knew what would happen if there was no car with a bumper sticker, just me and a campaign pin. 

I started at Bloomingdales; cosmetics, purses, plus sizes and without exception, each clerk ~ seriously EACH AND EVERY sales women told me, "I love your pin, she is going to win, you know!"    Wow, that was a surprise.  I took off for Nordy's to spend my Christmas gift cards.  The three sales women there all lined up at the counter and started taking about Hillary and how much they love her.  They voted for her.  They know she is going to win.  Last stop, Macys. 

The woman who helped me told me how much she loves Oprah.  She never missed a show (oh oh, is the Obama talk about to happen?)  As I was arranging my purchase, she called over the other two women working the department.  "Look how gorgeous the woman's pin is," she said and they proceeded to carry on and on about how much they love Hillary.  I just got overwhelmed and welled up.  The working women, its the working women who know, who want Hillary in the White House. 

It was a great day in the OC.  My missionary work may not be so solitary after all. 

Will WE March Together Again?

From my point of view, this last week has been an unraveling of feminist fabric in America.  The new F-Word is faction.  I have not felt this alone in the movement since June, 1982 when the ERA deadline passed and banded women disbanded to never coalesce in that form again. 
Much like my unusual high school experience of traveling within many cliques, I am in touch with many women in the movement who work in different avenues.  My Outlook inbox has been flooded this week with the most disturbing asks, messages, hoaxes, essays, photos, lists.  Late last Thursday, I wrote to several women and told them that I cannot deal with this presidential primary along color lines, to take my name off their distribution lists until the primary is over and realize that we are all blue (dems – which in each case was true)

Since I began studying the lives of Coretta Scott King, Betty Shabazz, Winnie Mandela and reading bell hooks, Alice Walker, Maya Angelou and watching Oprah, I felt fairly confident that we were making some progress about racism in the Women’s Movement.  And yet this week, I have never seen such racial lines drawn.  And what is this incredible sexism about Hillary Rodham being just more of the Clinton years?  Can a woman stand on her own education, qualifications and experience?  Or is this 1950 – when people are imposing a husband’s legacy on his wife – like the plumber’s wife, fireman’s wife or professor’s wife?  What do people want from her?  If she divorced her husband – if she kept her name – if she had no children…  I thought all that crap went out with June Cleaver. 

How have I been fooled to believe that sexism is something hidden, something that will be gutted through the courts and Congress, something so integrated in our lives that is barely shows, something practiced by antiquated employers who are being exposed in slow motion?  And have I been fooled into thinking that one crude man says, “nappy-headed hoes’” and righteous people stand to be counted?  And have I been fooled to believe that if a woman goes to college, works in hedge funds, manages a self-reliant life; she will be respected?  When, all the while, polite society bickers about the level of insult (if at all) occurs when a member of the media says that a 27 year old woman campaigning for her mother is a whore – “pimped by her mother.”  Senator Obama, you have two daughters ~ would you please speak up on this!!!  I am truly sickened by it.  I am losing my footing as the reasonable, ethical road narrows.   

Lets sum up here ~ feminists have been working to put a woman the White House and to remove racism from our lives.  No one could have foreseen that a woman would be running against an African American man in the Democratic Party.  But what I find unfathomable is that this historic combination is bringing out the worst of the very people who worked so hard to make it happen.  I only hope that when the Primary is over, we can get on with the holy work of social justice – and that we can do it together.