OnLine With Zoe

It is a vote for families.

I had no plans to talk about Proposition 8.  I figured it was so obvious there would be no need.  Ellen got married. Sulu got married.  Seriously how controversial could this be?  People live and work with us queers all the time, in every place.  Rachel Maddow, Rosie O’Donnell, Neil Patrick Harris, Anderson Cooper.  Play tennis, watch the news, read a book.  It isn’t even odd anymore.  It is an integrated part of life whether you know it or not.

Of course we want to be able to marry.  It is the model of American families.  Sure two parents are good.  Two paychecks are good.  Helping one another in old age ~ it is better in pairs (believe me – I know – I am alone).  Walking my dogs I see "Yes on 8" signs all over my neighborhood.  I whisper to the poodles, “What’s it to them?” 

The neighbors are nice to me, wave, let their dogs greet mine, treat me just like any other old lady walking down the block.  I figure they got the signs at their Catholic parish.  I have a degree in Catholic Theology, what is the problem?  Catholics are free to practice their faith whether gays marry or not.  This is not about the sacrament of marriage.  I have to believe they have no idea what this is about, so I am going to try and explain a point that may not be obvious. 

In 1996 I sat in a hospital surgery waiting room with my ex-girl friend, Maria.  Fourteen years before, Maria left me for Laura Nyro.  Over time, the three of us became as close as sisters could be, though they were as married as any couple you could know.  On that day, Laura was in surgery being treated for stage four ovarian cancer. 

Maria was not her sister.  Maria was not her daughter or mother.  Maria was a “friend.”  They had been together for fourteen years, raised a son, kept a home, shared their finances.  But, of course, they were not married ~ so we sat with no next of kin next to Maria’s name on the list.  More times than I can recall, over the next two years, we sat in waiting rooms, while Laura was receiving treatment.  And all we could do was wait for Laura herself to tell the clinic people that they could let Maria sit next to her, hold her hand, carry her bag.

I hope you will send this email to your family and friends who do not understand why the movement to vote "Yes on 8" is simply not reasonable, not truthful, not honorable.  What is honorable is the validation and legalization of committed paired relationships.  Those of you who are happily married to someone of the opposite sex, I want to ask you how would you feel if you were stopped at the door of the ER, to be told you have no right to accompany the person in distress whom you love.  You can not make inquiries.  You can not hold their belongings and, certainly, not their hand. 

Whatever outrage and, most importantly, invalidation you might imagine is the daily experience when the person loved is the same sex.  There is no difference in marriage-type love .  Maybe that is the best kept secret about being gay; we like, we love, we form families with heart ~ just like you.  There is nothing to fear, to reject or hide from. 

So here is what we have in common; we believe in pairing, in caring, in marrying.    We think it is good for kids, good for parents, good all around.  VOTE NO ON 8.  It is a vote for families.

They are The Old Agenda

A slave is defined as a person who is seen as a commodity to obtain unfree labor.  Slaves build, produce and serve those in power.  They can be any gender and are found in every history on every continent.  Let there be no mistake, each society progresses and evolves to an epiphany that slavery is no longer moral in their advancing consciousness.

My particular interest is the “slavery” that spans centuries, across cultures, deeply embedded and in many occasions honored as proper; women in slavery to men.  I am NOT stating that this is more or less important than any other.  I am simply stating that this one is my lifelong interest.  In fact, I am refining it even further to be North Americans though I find Gutierrez and Freire of Latin America particularly inspiring in their influence. 

The bottom line, the most fundamental precept in the elimination of slavery is total physical autonomy.  A female who can be held in place by her biology is not in charge of her own destiny.  No one said it better than Simone de Beauvoir.   CEDAW and the UN understand this fully in working to eliminate what is hideously trivialized in its name; ethnic cleansing.  Biology as destiny is unacceptable by any advanced society.

Knowing this unwavering truth has led me to join, with pride, NOW and NWPC.  I have contributed to Planned Parenthood, worked as an Assistant Director of The Orange County Free Clinic and supported only candidates who are pro-choice.  This is not about abortion though abortion is a component.  This is about women owning their bodies, interpreting their consciences, defining their faith, knowing their mind.  This is about equality under the law, within the health system, in the workplace and in all forms of finance and opportunity. 

This current election has been a brilliant moment in the history of the American Women’s Movement.  The women, who have been educated in the last 25 years, seem to really grasp the difference between patriarchal power structures which flow from the top ~ down, power to powerless, privilege to poor; and organic, bottom ~ up, center ~ out, natural leadership.  bell hooks teaches us, Paulo Freire writes for us, Margaret Wheatley tells us about this form of leadership in which the leader and the led are all advancing the community at no individuated loss – only communal gain.

Senator Obama speaks to the people who understand this.  Some women’s prized loyalty was given to Senator Clinton despite their understanding of the new science of leadership and, when Senator Clinton lost the nomination, made the switch in varying levels of ease.  (I am one of these who went with great reluctance.)  But it is absolute ~ if you believe in choice, in women owning their destiny ~ and you are voting in the national presidential election ~ you will be voting for Obama/Biden; just on the concern for the Supreme Court alone. 

Something very odd is happening in the women’s movement.  I first saw it in The Eagle Forum working tirelessly to defeat the ERA.  It drove me crazy again when some anti-choice women bought Susan B. Anthony’s house and are attempting to write history to suit their position – proposing that Anthony was anti-choice (which is preposterous).   And yesterday five women who have been public champions of the American Women’s Movement, stood on a stage behind an anti-choice politician and gave their endorsement invoking the idea of feminism. 

I spent a lot of time this AM researching their organization The New Agenda.    There is nothing NEW.  You could just as easily be reading the site for The Eagle’s Forum extolling the ideas of Phyllis Schlafly.  Women oppressing women.  Women standing on the work of other women.  Women denying women their civil rights, their freedom of choice, their biological autonomy.  These women would not be on that stage were it not for Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, NOW, NWPC and every man or woman working for freedom, for liberation, for equality. 

They are the old agenda.  They represent the old science of power and money and oppression. 

Greta, Shelly, its way too late!

I opened Feministing.com as I do everyday.  I found this piece about feminism, NOW and the LEFT.  Sarah Palin is not a feminist, frankly I am both tired and bored with discussing that but it appears that this conversation is widening and standing on the brink of muddying a stong proud movement seeking justice for all genders. 

As you can see in this video, there are some "high-profile feminists" standing behind the GOP VP Nominee.  If it was just one really angry woman, who was feeling betrayed because the Dems did not nominate a woman for president, we could just name it and watch her implode; however this is a bevy of titled women who are stepping up to re-define feminism.

YOU MAY FIND IT INTERESTING THAT FOX KEEPS CHANGING TO EMBED CODE FOR THIS  VIDEO.  HERE IS THE LINK http://www.foxnews.com/video-search/m/21264990/left_jabs.htm?q=palin   I hope they will keep this up.

My life has been more interesting that anyone can imagine, I am friends with women who were with NOW at the start as well as women who are just beginning their awareness and lives of activism.  I marched for Roe v Wade, fasted for the ERA and been a champion of LGBT rights.  The definition of Feminism is too old, too simple, too true for these anomolies to usurp.

A FEMINIST IS A PERSON WHO BELIEVES AND BEHAVES AS IF MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL.  This is not negotiable.  This does not change because the Dems or GOP or Planned Parenthood or Marriage Equality or Christianity want to define it in any greater detail or nuance.  Equality under the law in education, in pay, in pension, in insurance, in government, in the military, in the Wimbleton, EVERYWHERE. 

I wonder if these women using the name of NOW, MS Magazine and feminism will be able to co-opt feminism for a moment or two.  The reality is that feminists know that women must own their own bodies and seek peace when in the majority.  They also know that a female who blames the victim, is against pay equity and puts the health of the mother off the table when a pregnancy is life-threatening is not a feminist. 

I am not on a stage.   I am just living my life.  I am relieved to know that the Feminist Movement is well on its way to success and these self-serving women, who are promoting Sarah Palin, are only hurting themselves while stealing a bit of attention.  It is way too late Phyllis, Shelly, Elaine, Linda and Lynn.  Word is out ~ social justce = equality.

Thanks Ellen - and Congratulations

I saw a "Yes on 8" sign on my landlord's lawn.  I can't stop thinking about it.  An amendment to stop two people of the same sex to marry ~ what's the harm in two people of the same sex marrying?  There is a commercial in California, hoping to scare people, that second graders will be taught that two people of the same sex can marry.  I would be truly proud to tell a seven year old that when two people love one another, they can marry.  It seems a lot easier than explaining who can't and why.  A princess marrying a princess - sounds like a plan ~ no lost shoe, no poison apple, no toilet seat issue.

Can't resist saying that should an amendment be adopted that says marriage can only occur between one man and one woman ~ it would be the only time in the Constitution that "woman" would be mentioned. 

Young Women Know

Women, not Angels

About a week ago I was invited to speak after a showing of Iron Jawed Angels.  I am very forthcoming about the movie; its ridiculous fabrications, the manipulative music and, most importantly, what the facts are.  I spent a lot of time putting together an abbreviated PowerPoint with emphasis on the movie plot line.  Since I was invited by a women’s studies group, I believed it would be an audience interested in the fight for the Susan B. Anthony Amendment and the women who waged it. 

When the movie was over, a history professor was introduced who was going to take questions.  I was rapt.  I never learned any of the things I know about the American Women’s Movement in a classroom and this was a welcome opportunity.  She began to explain that films tell you what to think, that the facts are unknown because it is the past, that there is no way to know what they wore, how they behaved or what was their intent.  She continued about the use of music that was not from that period and drew some conclusion about Hilary Swank as she was in Boys Don’t Cry – though never expressing any regard for Brandon Teena.

Ok, yes, I blew my lid.  I raised my hand and said that I had been invited there to talk about the film.  She said I could say a few words.  I said that you could definitely know things about Alice Paul ~ you can talk to people who knew her, I would furnish the phone numbers.  There are photos and letters and that the movie is based on a book, whose author is very much alive.    

I struggled to set up my projector, computer and presentation.  It was a packed room.  I opened with, “I feel like I am in some alternative universe as I usually speak to feminists, activists, people who are interested in political action and social justice.  I am not accustomed to addressing people who look at this as an art form with all the latitudes of artistic expression.  The devices, fabrications and outright fiction in this movie are known and worthy of discussion."

“You are the sequel.  That is both the good news and bad news.  The worst thing the movie does is represent this information as if it is all done.  Within three years of the passage of the 19th Amendment, Alice knew that women needed a lot more than the vote, they need to be explicitly included in the US Constitution.  The job remains unfinished and the biggest problem we have is that most people think the ERA passed and that women are in the Constitution.”

I have seen the movie at least 12 times.  I am beyond kvetching about the manufacturing of the boy friend, Doris Stevens stealing him, Alice implying that she could have him back when Doris is in jail.  He comforts Alice saying that Doris is having “the time of her life,” and she will write a book.  (I wish they had read it.  It is real; Jailed for Freedom.  It does make me freak to see Alice tying the boy’s shoe laces to a snappy rendition of “Ain’t she sweet.” 

Ok, Katherine Leighton is fiction but serves a descent purpose giving voice to rich wives who risked their security and possibly losing their children by joining the movement .  Ben is made up entirely which is particularly aggravating as he mocks Alice driving and finally gets her to take off her pink silk hat (oh barf).  Why not talk about the actual men who supported suffrage?  And why did they chose to portray Susan B. Anthony as sharing in the raising of Stanton’s children – her letters make it pretty clear – she wanted Elizabeth to stop with the kids and get on the road for suffrage.

Why not talk about Jeanatte Rankin, first woman elected to Congress, sole vote against the war and called for an investigation of the Occoquan Women’s Workhouse?   Why not talk about the extraordinary women; Alice with a Ph D; Inez, refused at Harvard Law as she was female, earned a law degree at New York University. 

And what is the harm?  Ask Hillary Clinton.  Strong women, brilliant women in a life long battle for human rights are infantilized, trivialized and sanitized only contributes to the castigation of opinionated, capable, aggressive, dedicated women.  Someone tell Tim Gunn what he does when he (an accepted gay man) describes Hilary Clinton as “dressing gender-confused.”

So much was good about the story and, even, in the movie.  Doris Stevens gazing at the State House ceiling at “the Apotheosis of George Washington,” in which women circle the heavens.  The allusion to Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman in watching Katherine Leighton hide her little leather bound journal of poetry.  The brutality of the force feeding.   

My favorite scene is Alice listening to the ghost of Susan B Anthony while placing her ear on Susan’s desk.  I almost lost it when I stood in a room with Alice Paul’s desk.  It is not done, it is a long, arduous relay of activists and visionaries.  To the college kids I have the privilege to address I want to say - this one central message ~ As Alice’s desk whispered to me ~ YOU ARE THE SEQUEL. 

Janice Dickinson ~ You Really Blew it!

I have never missed an episode of Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency.  I felt immediately drawn to Janice because she demanded excellence from the young models, while lavishing them with advice, limits, directions and, when appropriate, praise.  In particular, I am so grateful that she requires her models be drug-free (threw out Kehoe) and drinking is never tolerated on a shoot.  Also, Janice always demonstrated excellence when she was to be photographed.  I have watched her encourage young women follow their dream and Janice was fantastic when a male model struggled with coming out.

These last two episodes have unraveled my support.  I cannot recommend that young girls and boys watch the show, as Janice has not just proclaimed that she only wants to represent Hi-Fashion models whom she believes should be a size zero, Janice has made it clear that she doesn’t even acknowledge the humanity of size 14 women.  She does not want to hug them ~ gorgeous as they are!  She cannot stay at a plus size photo shoot and, so juvenile, she rifles through their fridge – carrying on about, “They have food in here.” 

Are you kidding me??  These beautiful models and the wonderful women of Plus Model Magazine were gracious, kind, open and, at one point, crying to be considered as women who have had a difficult journey growing up “fat.”  As one said, “I will show you how cool phat is.”  Ivory, Alana, Reah are beautiful admirable, sensitive women who represent the American women’s size 12 – 18 which is the norm.

Listen Janice, young girls who are not genetically pre-disposed to being thin are suffering from unthinkable pressure.  Anorexia and bulimia are so pervasive that they part of our cultural fabric.  Girls die from the “disease to please.”  I have no argument that you represent hi-fashion and that your son, Nathan, handles the commercial side of business.  It would be none of my business but you put it on TV and so it is now everybody’s business.  It is your prerogative to only represent a certain segment in the modeling world – but you have publicly expressed a deep and abiding disgust for people who have even the slightest percent of body fat.  You are not healthy for kids to watch, for kids who need to learn self-acceptance, for parents who are hoping to teach their kids about loving their body.   

I hope you can read by the depth and content of my statement that I was a true fan.  Today I am not.  I hope you will grow, as Alana asked you to.  Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes. 

Women Know Better

It really doesn't matter if a president of a California NOW chapter speaks in favor of Palin.  In fact, all it does is demonstrate how she is not really a trusted member, a reliable supporter, a respected leader.  She only showed that she is not with NOW, for the NOW PAC, and, even, a feminist.  No one is fooled.  No one bought it.  No one.

A Constellation of Chapter Presidents

On Saturday, October 4 there was an interesting constellation of Southern California NOW chapter Presidents.    For weeks I had planned on being at the Palin Protest at Segerstom Hall.  It was a very high end fundraiser with the attendees arriving in limos, dressed in business clothes, walking in to hear a woman speak whom they would never know personally, professionally or in school.  I am not sure how much it cost, but the law does have a ceiling ~ is it $2,300?
 
I arrived early and was really dazzled with the diversity of people there.  I met one woman who had been aware of Governor Palin for a while now, as she is a wolf advocate.  Animal protectors have known that Sarah Palin has zero concern for animals; polar bears to wolves.  Code Pink was there.  There were all kinds of Democratic clubs, student groups, progressives in general.

I was in the same spot for a while and overheard a man’s conversation with his two grade school age daughters.  One of the girls asked why they were there.  Her dad explained that he wanted them to see what democracy looks like, people protesting and know that it is our right.  I was so moved I broke the polite silence between strangers and thanked him.

To my delight I saw the President of OC NOW and the President of Long Beach NOW.  So all tolled there were three of us at the Palin Protest; as I am the President of Pacific Shore NOW.  And it was only right to be there with so much to protest.  Sarah Palin may be the beneficiary of Title IX and the First & Second Wave of Feminism but she is not an advocate of the very women and organizations that won her rights.

The list is really long which is a testament to how consistent Governor Palin is.  She is pro-life in all cases except, of course, capital punishment and war.  She is a hunter, though not for dinner just the sport of shooting wolves from helicopters.  She is a fundamentalist, evangelical who was exorcised of demons and witches just recently by a traveling pastor.  She supports McCain’s votes against pay equity, limiting veteran’s benefits and support of the surge.

Can I tell you how happy I am when I see a “NOW Round” in the crowd?  It makes me think of the women and man who founded this fantastic organization in 1966.  I am proud to say that I actually know some of the people who were in the original 26 people.  If you can go to a women’s clinic, take a women’s studies class, get a scholarship in a girls’ sports, you owe it to these women and men who have worked for 42 years.

I happen to know that another CA NOW chapter president was at a Hillary Clinton event at this very same time.  It was quite an afternoon for Southern California and women’s rights.  I came home so happy, convinced of a Democratic White House, Democratic Congress and seats guaranteed on the Supreme Court being composed of people who will vote safely for women. 

Then the terrible news came over my mobile phone, my texting, my email, my land phone, on the TV and on the radio ~ another CA NOW chapter  president was at another event at the very same time, introducing Sarah Palin.  Since that revelation I have been drowning in a river of angry betrayed women, shrieking emails, confused family & friends, media inquiries, chapters utterly baffled, members asking how could this be.  I have to say, “I DON’T KNOW.”
 
Obviously, the president of LA NOW, Shelly Mandell did not talk to me about it.  No one I know has talked with her about it.  I have written several women whom I thought would know and they don’t know either.  I can tell you this; The NOW PAC has endorsed the Obama/Biden ticket.  I can also tell you that the bylaws of NOW do not permit members to publicly take opposing positions.  For example, my chapter cannot endorse the Green Party, since it is a national election and only the National PAC can endorse on national issues.  My local chapter would only be able to have a local PAC and endorse local candidates in local elections.
 
I do know hundreds of people want answers, want to he heard, want the National PAC to make their position known about a local chapter taking a position contrary to theirs.  The president of CA NOW has posted a statement on the CA NOW website and they have closed their comments.  To me this is not consistent with feminist principles ~ I am really attached to freedom of speech.  I wonder if Palin would think it is ok?

But for the record, Shelly Mandell does not speak for me.  Feminists are people who believe and act as if women and men are equal under the law.  Sarah Palin is not a feminist or a friend of women, children, men and animals.  People who believe that Sarah Palin is good for women are deeply confused. 

Palin Protest in the OC