OnLine With Zoe

Tolerance is not Enough

Tomorrow there will be tables of people, eating together and priding themselves that they are tolerating others all afternoon.  Sitting cross-legged, folded arms and editing nouns for several hours so as not to incite anything.  Tight lipped, hiding (hidden) from controversy, protecting relationships or beliefs, with a promise to the host that, “nothing bad will happen to ruin the big day.”

Toleration offered, as the ultimate gift, from a position of distance or refraining from offence does not breathe.  What could possibly happen if crossed limbs unraveled and questions, from genuine curiosity, were submitted without guile.  

• Why do you wear a headscarf?
• What is the difference between being an Arab and being Muslim?
• Why do some people think their race is better than another?
• Why would you want to be able to marry?
• Do you think children with same sex parents will be ok?
• Will you marry now that you have kids?

Like a three year old White kid who asks their first Black playmate if the “color rubs off?”  when questions are asked with the intention of wanting to know ~ what occurs is the opposite of harm ~ closeness becomes possible.  Inquiry, from non-judgment, is the bridge to somewhere. 

November 24 the YWCA released a report that Gen Y wants this new President, administration and re-boot of American society to address discrimination due to race and religion.  I would tell these surveyed young women that equality in the US begins with the Constitution.  The ERA, pay equity and including everyone in the Constitution is the fundamental and lasting place to start.  (I believe they did not list it because they do not know they are not included.)

And I want to tell them that I agree whole-heartedly that religion must be addressed.  It is what currently separates us and informs all of the big “family values” issues.  A few years ago my mentor, who was one of the founders of NOW, told me that originally NOW had a religion committee and chair.  She contacted the president of NOW and told her about me.  She was told that NOW will never have a religion committee ever again.  I think they consider it divisive but, in reality, it is religion that builds walls and, in doing so, righteous believers have both the capability and the responsibility to disassemble them.  The desire to understand is the most powerful wrecking ball. 

Ah, back to the Thanksgiving table.  Tolerance is not enough.  It is postponing the judgment and offering insincerity.  Those who built the walls are the ones to begin the demolition.  The effective tool is guileless inquiry.  Those who are walled out, walled in, who are holding their tongue and hiding their lives will melt in relief and reach back in gratitude.  Lets all agree with His Holiness the Dalai Lama who says, “Kindness is my religion.” 

Memo to Whoopi

Ok, that is really the wildest and most egregious conversation I have ever seen on The View.  I have always thought Sherry Shepard isn’t very smart (the world is flat) and Elizabeth cannot even think about any view that doesn’t confirm her puny ideas but today they talked without even knowing the nouns they are using and talked as if they had authority.

Whoopi showed the cover of The Advocate which says, "Gay is the New Black."  She said that Gays are equating the current movement with Suffrage.  She then went on to say, "I don’t know what that word means.”  She demonstrated that ~ clearly.  Whoopi said it had to do with how much Black people have suffered.  Couldn’t they get their blue index card writers to just read WIKI? 

Suffrage has to do with the VOTE.  It was the movement for the vote in both England and the U.S. Whoopi then went on to say that both the Gay movement and the Gay Liberation Movement started at the same time ~ referencing ~ I guess the movements of the 60’s ~ Stonewall to MLK.  When the original reference is the combination of Abolition and Suffrage.  The Mid-Nineteenth Century.

Black men got the VOTE 50 years before all women did, even though they began together and then separated. 

15th Amendment (1870): "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude."

19th Amendment (1920): "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

In 1967, the Supreme Court made a ruling heard against a Virginia law making interracial marriages illegal.  That is 41 years ~ let’s not wait another 9 for gay marriage. 

This AM California Atty General Jerry Brown has asked the court to hear the pending cases on Gay Marriage.  I would say – to hear the cases on MARRIAGE.  Equality of Rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged the United States, or by any state, on account of sexual orientation or gender identity.  That is what GRANTING of rights looks like ~ which, by the way, is what Constitutions do.

What are The View writers doing?? ~ oh maybe nothing.  And Whoopi ~ don’t you know what suffrage is?  Suffrage from the Latin suffragium, meaning "voting tablet."  They have the soaps operas and dancing shows all figured out and they can name all the men they oogle over.  Somebody get them a dictionary.

You Can't Put the Baby Back

Protecting Minorities is How Human Rights Unfurl

“No one is free, until everyone is free.” Dr. Martin Luther King cautioned. Actually, I was originally taught this lesson in the Book of Matthew, when the Rabbi told us that to gain entry to the Kingdom, one should feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless and visit the sick. When asked about it, he replied that, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me.” Being a literal person, a Virgo and a serious child; I took it at face value.

There was a time in my life when I threw out everything. EVERYTHING. The bath water, the baby, the beliefs, the everything. Then I began a labor intensive process of testing and keeping/discarding. I experimented with truth, as my most cherished Gandhi suggested. What I found was that there is one consistent, persistent, repetitive rule – equality.

Gandhi explained, “You can judge a society by how they treat their weakest members." Apache Chief Magnus Colorado said, “Only people with empty heads feast while their hearts are heavy with grief.” Even the Church of Latter Day Saints and Evangelicals alike teach that union with the oppressed is the highest calling. Gandhi wore a dhoti. Jesus lived among the poor. Today academics call it intersectionality. The reality is, no matter who says it, it means one thing ~ all people must be lifted up for true liberation to occur. If one person does not have equal rights, then no one does.

Okay, we got that squared away.

Now we know there is backlash. Today CNN aired a story showing swastikas on Obama signs. The opponents to the newly paved path to racial equality and global unity are collecting, planning and plotting their return to power. That is human cadence. Gun sales are up and Catholic priests are warning no communion for Obama voters.

But I just cannot get over that a majority of Californians and a few more states want to change the very nature of the constitution whose entire purpose is to protect the minority (see paragraph one). I won’t get over it. I do not seek to get over it. It was never intended that a majority of citizen votes dictate what happens in a constitution; state or federal. We can be certain by simply looking at the ERA which 88% of US citizens agree with but has not passed. It will not until three more state legislatures vote to reach the magic number of thirty-eight as is required for a constitutional amendment.

I cannot think of a single instance in which human rights have been given and then rescinded. You can own land, you can sign a contract, you can vote, you can marry, you can, you can, you can. So rights unfurl. That is why there is so much in play in regards to Proposition 8. Could this really mean that our highest calling, to protect and advance a minority, will be overwritten? Obviously, I am politically and personally and ethically and spiritually in support of marriage equality but, it cannot be overlooked that in addition, this is a call for the protection and advancement of minority rights through the venerated process of a people ruled by a constitution they create.

Connecticut Brides

If I had a daughter, I would be so proud if it was either one of these beautiful brides.  And I would get a daughter-in-law at the same time.

Pure Love.  I am so proud to know you, Nancy & Diane.

What the Proposition should have said ~

Equality of Rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged the United States, or by any state, on account of sexual orientation or gender identity.

No On 8 ~ Long Beach

Not to be sarcastic ~ but if you look closely at the youtube - around 125 seconds - you can see a NOW ROUND where NOW belongs ~ Protesting the loss of Human Rights.

 

I am so lonely over this.

I went to bed last Tuesday elated, relaxed, invigorated and ready for the future.  An African American had won the election and minorities would have doors thrown open, children forever imprinted with the picture of little African American girls in the White House, a job well-done and a new puppy!  It was all just fantastic.

But since Wednesday morning I have become increasingly crushed.  I came “out” thirty-two years ago.  I have been open, spoken on behalf of all oppressed people.  I was prepared for the catholics and conservatives that populate my Orange County neighborhood to vote for prop 8.  I always found it knda fun – to be this big ole fat white lady who proudly said, “I have been L, G, B, and, now, settle for queer.” 

Dr. King told us about his dream on my 15th birthday and I gave it my best – to judge by character not skin color.  But last night, on ABC news, I saw an African American women explain that homosexuality is against the bible so 80% of African Americans voted Yes on 8.  I wonder what is my lesson; what should I conclude from this?  I have been on the verge of tears for two days – am I just supposed to be ok with this?

As you might guess, my phone has rung and my email box is filled with my feminist friends just besides themselves with joy about President-elect Obama.  I just can’t get off the phone fast enough – and don’t know what to say.  I feel heart-broken.  I have forty-five years into asking white people to not let skin color enter into their decision making about society.  I have thirty-two years into not being straight.  All I can really tell you is – I feel like I just broke-up.  I am so lonely over this. 

Can You Feel Two Things at Once?

I just spent 30 minutes wandering through my 100’s of books trying to figure out what to read; what to take to the dentist tomorrow.  I could not rest on anything.  I was drawn to the Dalai Lama which leads to several choices or anything by Betty Friedan.  I had to ask what is this Friedan thing about.

Several people have called and the conversation has been entirely dependent on their sexual orientation and feminist focus.  The progressives I know who are straight and not feminist-first people, are high as kites today.  The world changed today and you can be sure it is not lost on me at all.

Particularly here in California, lots and lots of people voted for Obama, for change, for just economics, for a sane global community.  But what the fuck are they thinking about writing an amendment to the state constitution to stop men who love men and women who love women from being able to have their families protected by the civil term, marriage.  I am really mad about it.  The people in Utah need to just get the hell out of my face.  LDS spent 75 million to manage Californians.  It is none of their business.  Don’t they have something to do?

I am really feeling so crabby about it.  I expected the Knights of Columbus to object ~ but aren’t they supposed to pour their money into soup kitchens, assisting the sick, sheltering the homeless ~ and they spent their money on dishonest commercials??  Was that one of the beatitudes at the sermon on the mount?  I recall Matthew  exactly, about how to get into heaven and it was all about love and caring for those who have less.  There is nothing about removing rights.

Ok – so now I have to say something about Arkansas.  No really, Arkansas.  Children without parents may not be adopted by gay couples.  Do you think it is contagious?  Are you that incredibly stupid?  What is the point?  What are you so afraid of?  Pedophiles are mostly straight men.  I am just overwhelmed about this.  If they believe this is good ~ they are the ones who should not be raising kids. 

So back to Friedan.  I have to confess.  I have to fess up.  All day long on CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, Vernon Jordan on The View, Larry King, Oprah’s guests today – dozens of African Americans who are spilling over with pride and joy.  The color barrier is broken for ever.  The Bradley Effect has dissolved.  African American moms and dads and teachers have told their little boys all day that anything is possible. 

I am so jealous.  I know that had it been a woman ,who was the president elect, how much it would have meant.  Lets really look for a minute, one more woman in the Senate (now 17%), ten more in the House, one more (in number – as two were elected, but one lost) female governor.  What would today have been like if Hillary had won – I can’t help but wonder.  And I have to say, being 60, I lament that I may not see feminist woman in the White House.

NOW issued a congratulatory press release today and stated that they hope the new administration will support the U.N.’s CEDAW ~ but the release said nothing about the ERA.  That is so weird because both these policies are in the same paragraph (page 46) of the Democratic platform.  NOW isn’t even advancing women’s Constitutional rights?  ~ oh heck ~ I just have to be wrong about that.

I am excited about Obama.  I am really thrilled about the millions of new voters, states turning blue and so many students who are now in the political process.  Obama & Biden will do wonderful things for women.  I did hear Obama mention gay people last night – yeah!  But MAKE NO MISTAKE – homophobia and misogyny are very much alive, have deep pockets and are the next obstacle we must take on.

Oh yeah, the book I picked up, Passionate Politics by Charlotte Bunch.

President Obama, I am so Grateful

There are a lot of people and organizations to thank today. 

Obviously we need to thank George W. Bush and Dick Cheney for being so abysmal these last terms, that an African American could get elected.  Of course this African American man is so extraordinary, we like to believe, he would have won against any republican but the reality is his mother, grandparents, education and spectacular community organizing set him apart from women and men of any color.  I hope people will see that true community organizing imparts to the community members that they themselves are valuable.  If someone bad-mouths community organizers, it means they do not value communities or their individuals. 

I want to thank Hillary Clinton who demonstrated how much I want a feminist woman to be president, how difficult it is to make happen and how to behave when it is irrevocably evident that a worthy man is now the candidate.  Obviously I am ashamed with the current wave of backlash in the American Women's Movement but the reality is, it validates that the movement is in motion and unstoppable.  There is no NEW AGENDA – only the old agenda; the same one of Stanton, Anthony, Paul, Burns, Friedan, Steinem, and you and me.   We believe in equality under the law, reproductive autonomy and pay equity.

I want to thank, my organization, NOW for courageously endorsing this male ticket.  It was never done before but in these dire circumstances; it was the right thing to do and I am grateful.  I want to thank the women who loved Hillary and followed her lead, who refused to fall for the paper thin, cynical gesture of running Palin as an alternative, who stood their ground on being feminists.  I want to thank every Democrat who got their acts together and made history for women in the House, the Senate and in many states. 

We have to thank the millions of new voters; students, workers, doubters, nay-sayers who took this risk to care.  Clearly they did not have my Sister Caroline in the eighth grade who felt very strongly about the value of one’s vote.  I want to thank the people who stood in line, watched like hawks to be sure the electronic machines recorded their choice, sacrificed their shift, lost a day’s pay, hired a baby-sitter and believed that their vote matters.  Dreamers, schemers, hopers and jaded people joined with the dogged foot soldiers of street politics. 

I want to thank all of the pray-ers, the meditators, the practitioners of the laws of intention and attraction.  Millions of people know that a tipping point is just one butterfly away.  Believers who held their breath and, then, remembered to breathe.  And I know, I can tell you with deep conviction, many, many Christians who really believe in the Good News, voted for Obama. 

We have to stop everything for one significant moment and think of all the African Americans who gave their lives, their freedom, their liberty to invest in this and to see this through.  I think of Harriet Tubman and Ruby Bridges and Minnijean Brown and all the daughters of Evers, Shabazz, King.  Whoever told an African American that they could be president – seriously –whoever you are, YOU GOT VISION!  (with a big thank you to President Obama's Grandmother) 

Today we begin the backbreaking work of implementing the promised dreams; safeguarding the equality of the races, genders and families; appointing judges who value the Constitution; closing Gitmo, the end of torture and proper care of returning American warriors. If you read the platform, there is so much to do and, keep in mind, that it was written before the financial meltdown and bailout. 

Somehow, we must now dismantle the pedestal without destroying the hope.  We must practice citizenship as never before in moving the dream from the ethers to the neighborhoods.