Mary Daly, A Truly Revolting Hag

A hundred times a person has told me that their dream is to own a bookstore.  I totally understand and lament with them over what a bad idea it is.  Discount books, online stores, Kindle, the greening of the industry, impossible margins and, yet, all the negativity could never trump books, books, books.  Order them, unpack them, shelve them, dust them - just love them.  A bibliophile cannot be deterred. 

The person in brown with a hand truck yanks the load over the thresh hold and every day is Christmas.  You pet them, call people who placed a special order for them, you skim them and take the best ones home.  I remember the arrival of Sagan's Cosmos, Rita Mae Brown's Rubyfruit Jungle and, most of all, Gyn/Ecology by Mary Daly. 

I had made prior arrangements with Maria that when it arrived, I would take it upstairs and she would work for me until it was devoured completely.  One day in 1978 it arrived.  It had a dust cover but under that colorful paper exterior was a solid textured red which to me was as fine as Italian leather.  I opened it like Pandora's box, smelled its newness and held my breath as my life was about to change and I knew it.  I paced.  I raged.  I shouted.  I threw myself into a chair and smoked.  I wrote questions in the margins but mostly wrote YEAH!!!!  RIGHT!!!!  Alice B. Toklas, my tortoise shell feline friend watched me, cheering me on. 

Two days later, as if bursting out of the dark cave of patriarchy, I finished.  I shut the back cover, flipped it over and began all over again because I wanted it to sink beyond my bones, clear through to my soul.  When I had read it twice, I wrote inside the front cover, "Who could write such a book? Only Mary Daly." That was just yesterday in the cosmic education of my soul, though in time and space it was 1978.  I was transformed and she was my stone cutter.

In her book tour, Mary Daly was going to speak at Claremont University.  Of course, Maria and I would be there.  I sat on pins and needles wanting her every word to pierce through complacency and activate me, annihilate me, invent me as I wanted to be revolting, a hag, a womyn.  When she finished, she offered to sign books and, without a thought about what I had written inside the cover, I threw myself into the line.  She signed in monotone manner, not looking up, taking it on as a task.  It was my turn.  I handed her my war torn adored copy.  She opened it and read what I had written.  She stopped, looked at me, smiled as if to say, oh this one gets it.  Yes, Mary, this one gets it. 

Tonight, while sifting through my Facebook Live Feed, I read the news today, oh my.  Mary Daly has left us.  In an email from the great feminist theologian, Mary Hunt ~

With a heavy heart, yet grateful beyond words for her life and work, I report that Mary Daly died this morning, January 3, 2010 in Massachusetts. She had been in poor health for the last two years.

    Her contributions to feminist theology, philosophy, and theory were many, unique, and if I may say so, world-changing. She created intellectual space; she set the bar high. Even those who disagreed with her are in her debt for the challenges she offered.

    When I return from vacation at week’s end I will post more. But I want WATER colleagues, of which she was a stalwart one, to know this now. She always advised women to throw our lives as far as they would go. I can say without fear of exaggeration that she lived that way herself.

    May her spirit soar and her ideas endure.

    Mary E. Hunt
    Hoechenschwand, Germany

It was posted both at iRobyn|iWitness and Catholic Anarchy  Fantastically, it was already posted on Wiki 

Our paths crossed several times, not the least of which was a phone call during the ERA fast in 1982.  She told us to stop immediately and that government was part of the patriarchy.  We were wasting our time asking for any rights from the boys. 

Mary was our positively revolting hag, in-venting a language for womyn. As a person who believes in reincarnation, let me say, god help the family she is reborn into - they better be dykes. 

No one, absolutely no one, informed my feminism more than Mary Daly.  I am proud to have known her. Tonight I miss her. She breathes through every activist thing I do. I am so very grateful.

Comments

[Yvonne Moore]

Ahhh Zoe. Thank you.............

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1440372633]

What a beautiful, loving, raw tribute. I'd better hurry up and order this book so as to see what I've been missing.

[layla love]

I learned of Mary's passing via your announcement... just wanted to share what i wrote in the hours following...
may we keep learning, loving & growing through the sharing of wisdom, time-- the tenderness that laces the battles we are forced to fight...

love to you peaceful warrior wymon.. love to us all. ox

A great being has passed.

Let us stand still for a moment and recognize that which must not be forgotten.
As we climb towards the sky.
Mapping that path to our freedom.
In the freedom we create while living.

No matter the constant rush, a gun or golden wand pointed at your head.

Life is rushed, a never ending to do list that we continue to either grow from and flourish amidst or we grow heavier with each burden.
Each burden validated-- the truth of our own stories being lived-- between what we are and what we envision ourselves to be. Between the socially-constructed norms burst the likes of Mary Daly-- her star light unexpectedly bold & filling the room with the notion that 'God' may not the only way?! SHOCKING! Like Galileo's vision of a starry night in a galaxy set right.

Push push push -- push, uncomfortably & steadfast, into the boundaries of conformism-- strike-- the heart-cords of many world wide while opening minds.
Roam into unspoken terrain-- being the first to utter some boundless possibility between the sisterhood of our time- close the doors-- In the shifting of scales we move forward but there must be safe space between us-- by any means necessary-- there is a programing of war systematically taking down the beautiful strength of our womynhood daily-- let us create private spaces to address these and other issues in complete freedom-- just as men have allowed themselves to do for as far back in history as I have learned.

May we stop fearing the space between us and maintain it well enough-- will all the love & creativity that we share, that we may brace ourselves for necessary battles while knowing which battles are able to be transcended like illusions.

The world is a very big place and the cord of womyns space- the room for The Feminine Mystique, for the ghost of Betty Friedan to meet with Daly-- I imagine a meeting of the minds with Frida Kahlo, Nefertiti & Alice Paul... all forming this beautiful light up there for us draw from & to pour into.

In the name of the Mother, the Daughter & the Goddesses. In the Name of Kali. In reverence for the Hideous Hags, In the name of all our mystic mothers- to Mary Daly with her never-ending fervor the living--

*May we reach out to each other a little more right now.
-- May we know that our ancestors and our evolution are two ends of the same pole.

I urge us to spend more shared time on these adventures of living herstory.
United We Stand: Divided We Fall:
Learning to draw from the principles of survival-- we must all be the Phoenix Rising- this must be the turning of the tides-- that only comes once in a blue moon-- this must be the sounding of the alarm.

I believe Mary studied theology so much so she could navigate the heavens quickly, to lead us beyond the pearly gate illusion and into the garden within this seed of life. We are the torch bearers in this most auspicious moment in the dawning evolution-
- upon which we are the pivoting point-
- we are the center of life on this earth-
- the birth place of all life-
- & Yes, I agree with Mary that we must have private space for the freedom of our expression -our knowing-
- we have been bound for centuries while mother earth has been being raped & pillaged-
- the rivers have run dry and been replaced by our tears-
-We are very resourceful creatures:
we will continue to nourish the earth & our self's, each other & all life through this darkness.
The light is breaking.
an alarm call blaring--
telling us it is time to train-- to buck-up-- to rise up--!!!
In the collection of our power and most importantly of consciousness. Of self-love. Revolution must begin with personal evolution-- with our own reconnection of mind-body-essence-ideas-tribe-we are the artisans, the warriors-- I am calling on all my sisters--

Trauma into transformation.

We all identify with different heroines-- let us speak their names more often-- let my generation be blessed with all these tools of technology that allow us to share our stories more and more-- and as we take up more space & more shape with collective vision-- it may take a whole new form-- we may be able to learn to create a community between us-- out of love-- out of rage-- fear-- and the place beyond fear-- a safe space where we can hold a womyn's spirit-- the red tent is needed-- the time for healing is needed-- we are all walking wounded for one reason or another-- carrying some world pain, worry or scar-- but the big picture is always getting bigger and so maybe all is well-- everything-- we have been through-- every trail in our shaping has taken us to a place where we can continue to love each other against all odds throughout and beyond time.

I take back my power to uphold & honor rather than to mourn & remorse.

There is no more time to recall our loses-- let us recount our endless reservoir of talent, knowledge, mystery & might between us.
We must be the fusion of all of these strengths-- to bring them forward-- to call upon a future where we have let go of the boundaries-- the personal wounds-- enough that we can begin to have a dialog that embraces the content of our character rather than surviving the mold of the character we are profiled to be.

I believe it is a matter-- at this point -- of almost letting it be.
this fallen empire-- some thousands of years old-- is chasing its tale to a certain death-

Let it be so so we may truly rise above:
again calling on the Phoenix within all of us-- the fires are burning-- let us rise-
- so we can stop getting burned,
burnt out-- that we can stop running the rat race-- wash off its filth & start planting the seeds of radical fresh newness- NOW!

We are calling on the universal qualities of the female temple to house strong intuition, a great sense of understanding, imagining and working steadfast towards a shared foundation upon which we can all build of unique sense of being.

We have the freedom to draw on everything that has gone right in this world-- merge it together into a new recipe to nurture the future just as our formothers did before refrigeration, when the bread would go stale and thus bread pudding was invented- we have a way to be alchemists-- to transform what is there into what is needed. So there is a need for us to really keep honoring the underground railroad, the grassroots- our own mammas & daughters for getting us this far.

Then there is Evolution. I learned about Mary Daly first through Susan Powter... who taught me that although that bread pudding was resourceful for its time, it is outdated. That mind and body are one of the same and we are what we eat-- so let us stop the insanity-- and realize the key is oxygen.

I believe that the key ingredients are love, support, inspiration & peace.
May we find in the year ahead-- in all time-- that we do indeed leave our mark.
May we live our lives where our actions can mirror our intention with less convolution & interference.
Spend time on the self every day in any way that we can-- let this be the year we clear the plates, sweep the dust from under the rug and let it blow out the door into the wind.

There is no need to fear the skeletons in the closet anymore-- they do not belong to you anymore-- they belong to a past-- send them off to Mary let her have the pleasure of atoning & sinning big with the whole mess that's been made.

I am not so interested in History classes as I am now in the FUTURE Studies-- the study toward HERSTORY.
May we be the co-creators of something beyond the limits of our current vocabulary.

It is a time to evoke all the fire in our belly, the might of our finger tips... in our body -- so lucky we are right now to have this form right now-- with all these senses about us. Relish, revel, rebel, reflect & rejoice.

I am working towards having a Love Craft-- a ship that floats through international seas bringing women's art & performance around the world while inviting women from every port aboard to record and broadcast parts of her.story through a floating satellite equipment media center. We would have a safe majestic ocean to explore the possibilities in thriving and find the tools between us to build those bridges to a world without categories...

With my greatest respect for Ms. Daly-- may she keep decoding the art of living dangerously with such flying colors-- I think I saw a new hue around the setting sun-- there amidst to what is possible.

embrace & let go.
simultaneously as is breath...*

Taking a moment for grieving is never a weakness- it is in fact the heart of the matter. May we always reflect our compassion upon the tides of spirits from this realm & others that allow us to flow, to float, to live & drown. To make waves & quantum leaps.*

putting the grrr back into grassroots.

with love,

//layla

[Audrey]

Thanks for this incredible tribute to Mary Daly.
We had a wonderful memorial service for here awhile back, and every woman there had "the first" Mary Daly book she read story. To be in that group of Daly loving women was heaven.
She was, in my opinion, the greatest lesbian feminist thinker of the 20th century, and possibly beyond, beyond time. She understood so well the mechanics of patriarchy, and how women could be well free of it. If only all the sisters today could understand this, we'd be there in no time.