OnLine With Zoe

Eulogy for Dr. George Tiller

DELIVERED AT CONGREGATION KOL AMI, WEST HOLLYWOOD, JUNE 3, 2009

Thank you for this opportunity to speak in this meeting of the spirit.  Most often we are speaking at political events, when we make a point to not mention the spirit and soul.  Now, here at this beautiful Synagogue, Congregation Kol Ami, we can talk of the spirit. 

First I want to tell you that when I was forty-four and my reading eyes weren't what they used to be, I missed the tiny stamped expiration date on a birth control product that had been in my drawer for over ten years and, to my surprise, I found myself pregnant.  I went to a clinic in New York and, as required by law, was counseled by a health care worker who happened to be half my age.  I had to tell her that I had used my birth control but did not know that it could expire. 

The next day I came back to be assisted by women, at the door, at the desk, in the OR.  When the procedure was over I put out my hand and said thank you.  The doctor, a bit bemused, removed his glove and shook my hand.  I explained that I had been a free clinic director and I know the danger they live in every day.  I wanted to thank him for his service to women. 
 
I am telling you this to encourage you that if you have had an abortion; please talk about it, give others the opportunity to ask you about it.  Take the opportunity to tell them that it has not destroyed your life.  The decision was neither tragic or trivial.  Peel off the stigma and shame.  Openly discuss that all facets of reproductive health are part of every woman’s life. 

Second I want to tell you in this ecumenical gathering, I am a Buddhist and I do not believe in heaven or hell.  (That’s a relief!)  That doesn't make abortion easier ~ just different.  I believe that an independent soul enters a human body with breathe, as most scriptures describe.

Also I believe in reincarnation. I believe that people are born to the next life based on what they designed through their previous life and the circumstances of their death.  (It is not lost on me that another great soul died in prayer, by a point blank shooting, M.K.Gandhi.) 

I believe that George Tiller’s soul is in that place between the worlds planning the next life.  This is one daydream I hold about Dr Tiller’s soul ~ Sometime in the future a little girl will be born.  She will be healthy and smart.  In  her world, women will have irrevocable domain over their bodies, birth control will be free and reliable, women who become pregnant will be able to make private informed choices with safe, loving care by well-paid professionals.

As a life-long activist, the question always arises, “what is our action item?”  Today’s action item is to create such a world so this American Mahatma, this Great Soul, deserves to come back to. 

American Idol From My POV

Last night’s American Idol was an extraordinary show.  I sat on the couch with the poodle, skipping through the commercials having a great time.  The last few minutes sucked, as we all know Adam Lambert is the more talented, long term idol but that’s what happens when voters are little Christian girls who dream of Kris Allen being their friend, singing to them on their thirteenth birthday.  Hell, all us older girls (over 17)  and gay/bi guys, who want Adam to sing to us on any birthday, just didn’t vote – “vote, we don’t need no stinkin’ votes!”

The insight that bowled me over and is still powering through my day, began with Cyndi Lauper and Allison Iraheta.  Sitting knee-to-knee, singing Time After Time, led me to feel thrilled for Allison, thrilled out of her mind.  It just seemed glorious, unimaginably glorious to be next to her idol; almost appearing to be peers; knowing their are not in one way and clearly equal in another.  Of course they are links in a chain of artistry and we had a front row seat.  The TV show included, among others,  Lionel Richie with Danny Gokie, Queen Latifah with Lil Rounds and Adam Lambert with KISS.  These pairs are runners in the relay of music. 

I wondered who I would like to meet.  Who have I met that handed me a baton?  Names poured though my mind; Mary Daly, Sally Miller Gearhart, Kate Millet, Barbara Love, Gloria Steinem, Grace Welch, Riane Eisler, Flo Kennedy, Dr. Joseph Lowery, Jacqui Ceballos, Margie Adam  and so many more.  The reason I could feel so much for these contestants was because I have sat knee-to-knee with my inspiration. 

What am I doing to hand off this baton before my time is over?  There is lots of conversation within the American Women’s Movement about “intergenerational feminism.”  American Idol made me really question the uproar.  I doubt if Allison felt that Cyndi was too old to be playing with her, even though Cyndi was playing an old fashioned Appalacian dulcimer.  Carlos Santana, Queen, Rod Stewart were sure not presented as old and out of date. 

In the world of feminism, I think the problem is identifying the baton.  My experience is that older women think the baton is the message imbedded in their tried and true methods and, for the most part, the methods are entirely out of date.  For younger women, the message and the methods are not what they need or can use. 

The real baton is courage, insight and passion.  Older to younger, experienced to newbie, seer to seeker, this entire conversation will change both in content and context when the baton is properly identified as energy ignited with wisdom ~ not message or methods.  They are specific to each activist, each generation and not required for the movement to continue.  Insisting that the methods and message are the baton is short-sighted and counter-productive.  As Kara Dioguardi said it all season, true artistry is taking a classic and making it your own. 

Your Signature Will Help the Teens of OC

In 1972 (yes, I remember it) we believed that not one more American woman would have to die from an amateur abortion.  We believed that every female would be able to manage her body’s ability to conceive and carry a pregnancy.  It seemed the only issue would be applying economic justice so that women, rich and poor, would be able to get information and services equally.
 
In the 1980’s the sexual revolution ended suddenly when condoms became a matter of life or death.  HIV/AIDS took the list of STI’s to a whole new level as it was incurable and deathly.  As Catholic high school teacher myself, I made certain condoms were available for those who made their sexual decisions long before asking my opinion.  Parents may argue till they are blue-in-the-face that their teenagers are not sexually active but the only action in full view is how easily they are being fooled.  The resounding settlement of this round robin conversation happens when their 11th grader is going to be a parent before graduation. 

Having been in the PTA and a director of a free clinic, I can assure you, parents and keepers of the abstinence rule book are the only ones who do not get it; information does not cause sex.  Hormones cause sex and information might make it safe.  People who know the truth; teachers, nurses, the CDC, doctors and community workers just cannot convince non-believers that their “children” are don’ it.  Therefore, it is up to those who really understand and accept the truth of the matter to offer solid, comprehensive, current information and be keepers of social health.  This is the role of leaders; the servants and shepherds of community.

Some how this obvious theory has escaped the Orange County Board of Supervisors.  They have taken their elected positions as license to advance their religious points of view and act as if they are the blind parents of a pregnant teen.  This is not even a stretch of opinion, as Santa Ana and Anaheim are at the top of the list of cities in California in teen pregnancy rates and the OC accounts for 60% of Chlamydia cases. 

Possibly these Supervisors think that they know better than the professionals, want to parent everyone’s kids, are acting as religions missionaries or are afraid of not being elected next term if they show some true stewardship.  No matter their reasoning, the fact is they voted unanimously to de-fund the education and outreach program of Planned Parenthood. 

This is NOT MONEY FOR ABORTIONS.  This is money which is spent educating citizens of the OC on  health, STI’s, reproduction, family planning and, yes, even abstinence.  It is non-religious, comprehensive, age-appropriate information. 

Please sign the petition and support the simple idea that withholding information is never the answer ~ supporting accurate, comprehensive, age-appropriate information is always the right thing to do. 

Can You Feel Two Things at Once?

I just spent 30 minutes wandering through my 100’s of books trying to figure out what to read; what to take to the dentist tomorrow.  I could not rest on anything.  I was drawn to the Dalai Lama which leads to several choices or anything by Betty Friedan.  I had to ask what is this Friedan thing about.

Several people have called and the conversation has been entirely dependent on their sexual orientation and feminist focus.  The progressives I know who are straight and not feminist-first people, are high as kites today.  The world changed today and you can be sure it is not lost on me at all.

Particularly here in California, lots and lots of people voted for Obama, for change, for just economics, for a sane global community.  But what the fuck are they thinking about writing an amendment to the state constitution to stop men who love men and women who love women from being able to have their families protected by the civil term, marriage.  I am really mad about it.  The people in Utah need to just get the hell out of my face.  LDS spent 75 million to manage Californians.  It is none of their business.  Don’t they have something to do?

I am really feeling so crabby about it.  I expected the Knights of Columbus to object ~ but aren’t they supposed to pour their money into soup kitchens, assisting the sick, sheltering the homeless ~ and they spent their money on dishonest commercials??  Was that one of the beatitudes at the sermon on the mount?  I recall Matthew  exactly, about how to get into heaven and it was all about love and caring for those who have less.  There is nothing about removing rights.

Ok – so now I have to say something about Arkansas.  No really, Arkansas.  Children without parents may not be adopted by gay couples.  Do you think it is contagious?  Are you that incredibly stupid?  What is the point?  What are you so afraid of?  Pedophiles are mostly straight men.  I am just overwhelmed about this.  If they believe this is good ~ they are the ones who should not be raising kids. 

So back to Friedan.  I have to confess.  I have to fess up.  All day long on CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, Vernon Jordan on The View, Larry King, Oprah’s guests today – dozens of African Americans who are spilling over with pride and joy.  The color barrier is broken for ever.  The Bradley Effect has dissolved.  African American moms and dads and teachers have told their little boys all day that anything is possible. 

I am so jealous.  I know that had it been a woman ,who was the president elect, how much it would have meant.  Lets really look for a minute, one more woman in the Senate (now 17%), ten more in the House, one more (in number – as two were elected, but one lost) female governor.  What would today have been like if Hillary had won – I can’t help but wonder.  And I have to say, being 60, I lament that I may not see feminist woman in the White House.

NOW issued a congratulatory press release today and stated that they hope the new administration will support the U.N.’s CEDAW ~ but the release said nothing about the ERA.  That is so weird because both these policies are in the same paragraph (page 46) of the Democratic platform.  NOW isn’t even advancing women’s Constitutional rights?  ~ oh heck ~ I just have to be wrong about that.

I am excited about Obama.  I am really thrilled about the millions of new voters, states turning blue and so many students who are now in the political process.  Obama & Biden will do wonderful things for women.  I did hear Obama mention gay people last night – yeah!  But MAKE NO MISTAKE – homophobia and misogyny are very much alive, have deep pockets and are the next obstacle we must take on.

Oh yeah, the book I picked up, Passionate Politics by Charlotte Bunch.

My Valuable Vote

I turned 60 today.  It has been the most astonishing day, filled with presents, cards, calls, flowers and a few insights.  Tonight I saw Chorus Line from the front row and all I could do was think again and again how fortunate I am. 

I turned fifteen the day Dr. King delivered the I Have a Dream Speech.   You can take in a lot when you are fifteen.  I loved him and the Kennedy brothers.  When all of them were killed, I came to the conclusion that people working for social justice are beacons of light which threaten people who prefer darkness.  Frankly as a young girl, color was not the determining factor; I thought all activists were in grave danger.  Gandhi, my primary lifelong inspiration, was killed exactly seven months before I was born and from him I learned that advancement and liberty shakes up those who want static power.

Who hasn’t watched the Democratic Convention all week?  The best place was C-SPAN as there were no blathering heads spinning and posturing as if they had some kind of inside line.  I would prefer to listen completely, reflect responsibly and make my own informed conclusions.   This year has called into question my deepest intelligence and spiritual reflection.  Am I a feminist?  Am I a racist?  Could I be both? 

I have really examined my loyalties to Hillary Clinton.  Her presidency became my dream.  I knew that if she was president, I would not have to think twice about all the issues that I have been pushing along on a very slow road for a very long time.  ERA, CEDAW, Roe v Wade, pay equity would all be on the horizon of possibility.  And in the realization of that dream, I would be able move forward and concoct a brand new fresh agenda to define my daily attention. 

Yes, Hillary Clinton became more than one woman.  To me she became an outcome that I have spent a lifetime working to create ~ a woman in the White House, women’s health and safety considered obvious, the courts upholding equality as unequivocal and evident.   So this last week, I had to take responsibility for my dream, accept that I put too much on this one woman and face the fact that there is so much more work to be done. 

So here is what I need to go forward.  I need a Blue White House.  I need 60 Democrats in the Senate.  I need a majority of Democrats in the House.  I need pro-choice, pro-equality, pro-justice people on the Supreme Court.   All of that means that I will support President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.  I see the hope.  I see the possibilities.  I see the fireworks and promise.

Today I realized how precious a vote is.  I am grateful that I value my vote.  This year I will give it to Obama & Biden.   

Good News, at last

When I am asked to speak, the number one thing that is repeated over and over is the disbelief that women are not in the US Constitution.  I talk to unions, women's professional groups and students; most have no idea; even most recently at the National Conference for Federally Employed Women.  Do you wonder how can that be?  And then, just two nights ago, while looking for material, I found this on the Library of Congress website;

Paul was an ingenious strategist and inspiring leader who gave a public face to the NWP. After 1920 she turned her efforts to the Equal Rights Amendment, which she first proposed at a NWP convention in 1923. She lived to see the ERA passed by Congress in 1972.

So somewhere between the Iron Jawed Angels misportrayal and this listing on the Library of Congress website, we are told "mission accomplished. 

John McCain has a very skewed point of view on women - his wife is so wealthy, she won't let him see her tax return and loans John her private jet.  Let us not wonder why John McCain has no idea the work-burden of the single mother, the young woman who was denied birth control and now finds herself pregnant or the senior woman who is thrown into poverty after a lifetime of hard work as there is no cost of living increase in her fixed income but prices are not fixed.  I am not suggesting we have compassion for John's inability to get it - I am saying bluntly he has no idea what is going on for most Americans and therefore will never be a servant-leader.  He can only be king. (a very bad king)

Here's the good news.  We need good news.  We deserve good news.  The 2008 National Democrat Party Platform includes the ERA & CEDAW.  Rejoice and know that it is because a small handful of women who know the US has not endorsed CEDAW and has not included women in the Constitution.  They wrote emails and letters, made phone calls and are relentless.  If you are one of them - then we bless you, we thank you, we love you.

We are committed to ensuring full equality for women: We reaffirm our support for the Equal Rights Amendment, recommit to enforcing Title IX, and will urge passage of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. We will pursue a unified foreign and domestic policy that promotes civil rights and human rights, for women and minorities, at home and abroad.  (see page 46)

A Dream of Possibilities

There has been a lot of conversation about party platforms.  What would YOU like on the platform??  Here are some fine ideas --- and imagine if the ticket was a Black Congresswoman and her VP is a Latina who has been a Labor Organizer.  Now that would be a fantastic dream.   

A Platform on Women's Rights
Since the beginning of what we call civilization, when men's dominance over women was firmly established until the present day, our history has been marred with oppression of and brutality to women. We deplore this system of male domination, known as patriarchy, in all its forms, both subtle and overt - from oppression, inequality, and discrimination to domestic violence, rape, trafficking and forced slavery. The change the world is crying for cannot occur unless women's voices are heard. Democracy cannot work without equality for women that provides equal participation and representation. It took an extraordinary and ongoing fight over 72 years for Women to win the right to vote. However, the Equal Rights Amendment has still not been ratified.

We also support, and call on others to support, the many existing and ongoing efforts for women:

a. We support the equal application of the Constitution to all citizens, and therefore call for passage of the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA). We urge accelerated ratification by three or more of the remaining 15 states.

b. We call for equal representation of women in Congress instead of the current 16%.

c. We call for U.S. passage of CEDAW, the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women, which was adopted in 1979 by the U.N. General Assembly and ratified by 173 countries. The U.S. is one of the very few countries, and the only industrialized nation, that have not ratified it.

d. The Equal Employment Opportunities Commission should actively investigate and prosecute sexual harassment complaints.

e. We support the inclusion of an equal number of women and men in peace talks and negotiations, not only because these efforts directly affect their lives and those of their husbands, children and families, but also because when women are involved, the negotiations are more successful.

Reproductive Rights
f. Women's rights must be protected and expanded to guarantee each woman's right as a full participant in society, free from sexual harassment, job discrimination or interference in the intensely personal choice about whether to have a child.

g. Women's right to control their bodies is non-negotiable.
h. We endorse women's right to use contraception and, when they choose, to have an abortion. This right cannot be limited to women's age or marital status.

i. We encourage women and men to prevent unwanted pregnancies. It is the inalienable right and duty of every woman to learn about her body and to be aware of the phases of her menstrual cycle, and it is the duty for every man to be aware of the functions and health of his and his partner's bodies.

Economic Equality
j. Since, nationally, women still earn only 70% of men's wages for equal jobs, We call for the introduction and passage of federal and state laws to achieve pay equity, and funding for the enforcement of such laws.

Violence and Oppression
k. Language is often used as a weapon by those with power, and women have traditionally borne the brunt of inflicted injuries. Freedom of speech is vital to democracy. However, we believe that this freedom should not be used to perpetuate oppression and abuse.

l. Rape, domestic violence and other violence to women are increasing nationwide. We must address the root cause of all violence even as we specifically address violence to women. We cannot allow this to continue and call for increased funding for programs to address it.

o. We have zero tolerance for the illegal international trafficking in humans

You should know that this is not a dream at all - Check out these magnificent women who are offering to serve the US.  And did you LOVE the platform - that is real too!  I know most of my readers are going to vote for the Democratic ticket - but I do hope all of us know about this historical ticket and just platform.  Imagine an all women-of-color ticket!   It is not TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE - it is true.  Its the Green Party.      

Who Really had a Pact?

This morning Mayor Carolyn Kirk, of Gloucester, MA, held a press conference (see below).  It was the basic, "It's not our fault," speech.  Teachers say it is the parents.  Parents say it is the teachers.  I can't imagine the brewing contempt these seventeen students must feel for all of these authorities to jam the channels of responsibility. 

The most extraordinary thing is the search to be certain it is or is not a pact.  Why is this the primary issue?  What on earth does the pact have to do with it?  And people keep talking about how did this happen.  Seriously?  I know how it happens.  They know how it happens.  I wish they all would read Self-Reliance by R.W. Emerson and have a conversation. 

You can watch the interview below.  You may not even be able to count how many times she called these teen mothers, children.  You would think she is talking about premenstrual, pre-puberty humans who cannot cross the street without supervision.  Oh, let me assure you, they know how to cross the street. 

What is interesting to me is who are these 17 souls that insisted on incarnating  in Gloucester and being raised by young adults who are infantilized themselves?  Now they had the pact.  They came in together.  Their story is the one I want to know.

Zion Ranch Community

Shortly after the bombing of Baghdad I heard the author, Amy Tan, speak about her home burning to the ground.  She drew corollaries between the decimation of her belongings, her house, her historical markers and the looting of the main museum in Baghdad.    She explained that there was conscious culpability in allowing all of the precious artifacts in the Baghdad museum to be stolen, destroyed and irreparably scattered in all directions.  Such dissolution of continuity permanently dissolves the footing of the inhabitants represented in the collection, maintenance and artifacts themselves.   Maybe all we saw was some hoodlum running down the street with an ancient ceramic pot, but it was actually the thread of a culture unraveling.  It was intentional and served a very specific purpose; erasing a nation’s ethos forever.

As Donald Rumsfeld told the world, this would be swift, effective and complete.  He used the terrible phrase, “shock and  awe.” 

Shock and awe, technically known as rapid dominance, is a military doctrine based on the use of overwhelming power, dominant battlefield awareness, dominant maneuvers, and spectacular displays of force to paralyze an adversary's perception of the battlefield and destroy its will to fight. (WIKI)

What is it that we believe, and behave as if, destruction can build?  Heal?  Solve?  It seems insane at its core.  But no matter the obvious insanity when examined, we continue to pollute, smash, break, disassemble, as if it results in claiming ownership.  And lets not forget to consider if the original booty is so defiled, no one wants it, including the marauders. 

It may seem like a leap but bear with me for a moment when I propose that this paradigm applies to a home, a neighborhood, a museum, a country AND a family.  The Texas DA simply dispatched authorities to go in and disassemble the FLDS family.  This had no resemblance to protection, healing, informing, saving or rescuing.  If the people who grew up in the FLDS community were ever afraid of the outside world, this confirmed all of their suspicions ~ that the public rips mothers from children, has no respect for community ethos and, in some insane drive for rapid dominance, dissolves everything in their path.

It would have been so much better, effective, long-lasting to be the absolute opposite ~ to come in with kindness, inquiry, inclusion, education, openness.  To be attractive not repulsive.  To enter with books and information and movies and patience and, through these unexpected gifts and services, build a wider world vision, not destroy the community the FLDS members love beyond common understanding but present the possibility of expansion beyond Zion Ranch walls.    

Jessop did what many faith leaders do, they fall in love with their own reflection in the eyes of their followers.  He was removed.  His community had lost their anchor.  It was the best time, the correct time to offer a wider world view; to be examined and adopted at a pace that did not cause greater harm but safety; did not destroy but build bridges to the people on the other side of the fence; did not shame but showed that many people have faith in many ways and many of which lead to love and loving families. 

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My Candidate ~ My Classroom

Do you have a quotation that serves your life, your entire life, like a sextant as you cross the sea?  And can you narrow it to one?  Oddly, I do.  Or not so oddly, if you know me well.  “We are all beings in a school for gods in which we learn in slow motion the consequences of thought,”  from Joy's Way by Dr. Brugh Joy.  Not only is this the North star on my world map but it reminds me that life is a classroom. 

The current presidential election has thrown me into a graduate course that is unexpected, extremely personal, truly difficult and really fascinates me.  What are the central lessons?  How can they be viewed, managed, and discussed while not taking a cheap shot, drawing a shallow conclusion or discarding them as too divisive?  My email inbox is filled with letters and articles that do just that and I want something more.

I know myself fairly well and fundamentally I am interested in American social justice; being a woman, feminism is the natural fit.  I am a student of Liberation Theology, so American social justice based on race has always been an obvious parallel.  All of which is true for the poor, immigrants seeking safety, mentally challenged, the imprisoned… all too many categories.  In fact, for me, that is the current US political lesson.  How can the marginalized stop competing, as if contestants in a pity pageant replete with winners and losers.  What is the trump card? Is my trump invalid for you?  Is your trump invalid for me? 

Two hundred kids eating gruel at the orphanage table, “I am hungrier.”  “I have been here longer.”  “I am older.”  “I am frail.”  “I am sick.”  They squabble amongst themselves.  Fights breakout in the dining hall and the end result is the headmaster,to end the chaos and punish, sends them all to bed.  Do I lobby for the girls?  Do I look for the ones most hungry?  Do I step in and try to line them up by some imaginary criteria based on a presumed understanding of how they got there?  This one was brought by car, this one by ship, this one crawled through extreme danger, this one escaped gunfire, this one had sex with one of the teachers, this one is blind, this one is insane.  None of those are decent ideas.  None of them.  The entire point of social justice was to get rid of the intoxicating power of the headmaster.  Mind you I did not say get rid of the headmaster, just the imbalance of power.  To be a true liberator you can't oppress one group to free another; nor oppress the headmaster. 

Until this election unfolded, I have been so hopeful about a woman commanding the Whitehouse, a democrat and am particularly glad it is Senator Hillary Clinton.  It was in keeping with my values concerning presidential electoral politics.  (I would prefer a pacifist but that is not an option in this venue)  Of course any liberal who reads the news knows the terrible contest raging between gender and race.  Someone is trying to line up those orphans.

So here is what I have come to learn.  Barack Obama cannot speak for every Black man.  Hillary Clinton cannot speak for every woman.  But, moreover, neither of them is speaking to end privilege, to liberate the poor, to liberate the human race, to liberate men and women.  Senator Obama may have given the great Black speech of the Century, but I require more ~ I want a great Liberator Speech.

I need someone to talk about the Supreme Court and the moral fabric of our country.  I need someone to talk about the colors of all people, all economic circumstances, all orientations, all religions, all of the oppressed.  Come out of your gender corner, come out of your race corner and speak to all marginalized Americans.   A few weeks ago I wrote that, in regards to Obama and Clinton, I wanted them both; now I am wondering if both of them is enough.  Today's lesson is that my dream candidate is someone who wants to get rid of the intoxicating power of the headmaster, not just defend and advance their personal marginalized group.