OnLine With Zoe

Service is Leadership and Leadership is Service

Over the last few months I have been asked, I have written and I hold steadfast on the subject of privilege.  I hope that I have not participated in the singling out of one person but rather have held the conversation on a general plane; an applicable plane.  I realize there may be a lot to say about an individual on this issue but not by bystanders and not in the public square.  I believe and I live that I am accountable for my life, I demonstrate with my life, that is the purpose of life.

While working on a new memoir, when I got to 1975, I wrote about my year teaching at an all-girls high school in Echo Park which was 90% Latina.  After the chapter was done, I realized that I had demonstrated what I think about privilege even back then.  To me it seemed obvious and not some heady philosophical theory at all.  It was the organic response to empowering the disenfranchised.  If I am a senior in a meeting of young feminists, if a straight person comes to a meeting of LGBT people, if a White person comes to a meeting of People of Color; the right thing to do is to support the emerging group in service to their empowerment. 

In a recent interview, the journalist asked, “So you think that Mr. so-in-so had no place at a women’s march?”   Oh, yes I do: Fundraising before the march.  Arranging for city permits.  At the end of the march, picking up litter.  At the landing of the March checking the sound.  Along the route with a First Aid kit.  But never leading.  The interviewer was not interested or, maybe, lost his verve as I did not give him the answer he wanted.  Pity.

This what I think about privilege and how I demonstrated it. 

Early in the year, when I was having a meltdown about no one doing any homework, one of the Sisters told me that many of them have no time for such things.  They worked or they were the primary adult in the household making dinner for their younger siblings.  I had to get hip to all that pretty fast.  Many times, maybe most days, someone was missing and it was because of a funeral, a gang funeral; a brother, a boyfriend, a tribe mate.  These girls knew things I could not imagine.  Try as I might, love them as I did, it was clear they needed a Latina standing in front of them not a privileged white girl, wearing a navy linen dress, driving her red beetle from the beach.  They needed a woman who knew their lives, their family life, their future possibilities and could demonstrate how to push onward.  On Holy Thursday I gave my notice with one caveat, asking Sister Jeannine to hire only a Spanish speaking Latina to teach junior and senior religion.  It made me really sad but right is right.  I was given the “Most Liked Teacher” award that year.  A treasured pearl.

The MOVEMENT needs us to prioritize and study leadership.

My plan was to avoid the conversation all together but my plan has evaporated.  About a week ago I saw, on facebook around 9 PM,  a picture of Hugo Schwyzer with a red circle and strike on it.  I opened the page, “Feminists Against Hugo Schwyzer“ and watched the “like” tally roar.  I think I went to bed when it was at about 160.  Now it is at 566 and the debate has bled all over the pond, small pond but one of the ponds I frequent.  I am not certain I want to get in the fracas but my thinking is mine, I own it and offer it. 

It seems that there are a lot of very strong opinions, strong like coffee or a scent is strong.  There is little that is subtle or mindful or aware or refined or worthy of many of the writers.  I am choosing to believe that many of the voices around this pond are gifted thinkers; by that I mean I would like to hear from them on the actual subjects of privilege, gender, leadership; the entire oppressed/oppressor paradigm.  I am sincerely flummoxed that the conversation always includes names and never takes a leap to arching lessons, tenets, ideas, general social conclusions, etc.

My unfolding in activism has always been parallel with expanding my understanding of humans, of organic physics, of the science of leadership.  I have to admit, this keeps me sane in the face of Roe eroding, Prop 8, unforgivable suicides and so much more.  I do not use it as an excuse but as a shoring up of my heart in terrible bloody waters. 

I want to talk about the role of a white person in racial civil rights.  I want to talk about a rich person’s responsibility to the economically depressed.  I want to talk about the best place for a senior when surrounded with young people, young legs, young minds and new ideas.  I want to talk about straight allies and their fundamental necessity in the LGBT movement. 

Most of what I have learned on this subject is from Robert Greenleaf and Margaret Wheatley.  The finest leader I have read about is Leo in Hesse’s Journey to the East.  He meets a group of western pilgrims and builds them a fire, cooks their food, arranges their passage through the Himalayas while never mentioning that he is the Abbott they are searching for at the monastery which is their final destination on their treacherous trip.  They think he is their servant, their Sherpa, their inferior and all the while they are traveling; warm and safe.  They are becoming independent and Leo knows that his invisibility is integral to their mutual success.

I think Malcolm X is another powerful example.  He did not want privileged white people anywhere near his movement until he circumambulated the Great Mosque seven times, found his own higher self and, then, considered the place of blue-eyed people.  And we have to see that Branch Rickey brought up Jackie Robinson but Robinson ran the bases.  I believe that HRC should have a straight ally on their Board of Directors because there is no movement without expansion out of our queer ghetto but the majority, the leaders must be queer.

All of this seems to me to be a worthy conversation.  It would be a worthy conversation for anyone who is interested in the matrix of domination, who cares about the empowerment of the disenfranchised, certainly anyone who has studied The Pedagogy of the Oppressed.  Not only is this a conversation that the current circumstances could benefit from but our intersected futures as well.  Instead of keeping the conversation so puny as to be about one human this could have been about the physics of change. 

 Oh I have opinions about Hugo’s past, his teaching, his writing, his devotees.  As a member of Alanon for almost 40 years, I have opinions about addiction.  I have a boatload of opinions about rape culture, violence against women and men, about the mis/use of the word feminism.  However, what I really care about is the rising of the oppressed which will release the oppressor from our shared cycle ~ advancing all of society.  Hugo and you and I are just a few players who have a lot to do that is way beyond personal, beyond name-calling, beyond defenders v. attackers.

The MOVEMENT needs us to prioritize and study leadership.  Settle for nothing less.  Learn to build your own fire, to travel your road and pave it wide enough for all of us.  These two pictures are all I have to say about this individual controversy ~ now I gotta get back to work.

Occupy Generation ~ Occupy Heart

While Berkeley is being occupied, visited by Daniel Ellsberg, tents on the Mario Savio Square, I feel so much more than nostalgia.  I am rifling through my mind to figure how on earth I found out about the Free Speech Movement.  It was not on the Nightly News with Huntley Brinkley, it was not in the local papers (Milwaukee Journal and Milwaukee Sentinel), it was not dinner conversation in my home or any home I visited.  You can know it was not in my Catholic Church; they were not pro-Kennedy.  It was not the lunch talk over tuna noodles or sloppy joes. 

To say there was no internet, there were no PC’s but, moreover, there was no lateral communication that had a secret factor as there is today.  Many adults have not kept up with electronic news possibilities; they merely read CNN on their ipad rather than fish for the Guardian or Al Jezeera.  Though I carry my own biases, it appears to me that many people my age who are devotees of Amy Goodman and foreign press are child-free or involved in learning professions. 

Somehow I knew, I knew about Birmingham, I knew about Martin Luther King, I knew about the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act.  Somehow it found me.   My compass was set on autopilot to point 180 degrees from anything my mother supported; Wisconsinite, Joseph McCarthy; the Committee on Un-American Activities; the John Birth Society; crazy messages about communism including people building air raid shelters in their basements. 

Mind you this is all before Betty Friedan, before PC’s, before Stonewall, before HIV/AIDS, before home pregnancy tests, before thousands of things that are now simply, “in the water.”  As best I can measure how it got to me at 15, it was books, music and a genuine taste for fundamental resistance to the same ole, same ole.  Anything that had been tested, tried and true was toxic and antiquated.  Change was being born, born in me; where else could it be?  Yes, I was a genuine card-carrying anti-war hippie by the time I was 19.  I wore overalls with an American Flag sewn upside down on the bib. 

Today as I watch the news, comb through facebook, watch youtube videos and search on #OWS I see the outcome of a sliver of that investment.  And there are Joan Baez and Crosby & Nash singing right on queue.  I see 19 year olds and 25 year olds who are moving the world one change at a time.  The human mic, refusing dogma, demanding equality, valuing books, standing in unison. It isn’t déjà vu all over again, it is burgeoning brilliance roaring across the earth on the finest brand of courageous NEW.  From Marines to medics, from seniors to daycare, from a few to a thousand, change is being born in each and every one. 

But here is what you may not know, what you may not have realized.  Today there is a kid, 12 or 13, who is lost in a sea of toxic traditions of bigotry and fear, who is taking it all in.  They are writing it all on the walls of their heart.  They will continue on a lifetime trajectory, now plugged in, and, whoa, change is gonna come, born at the speed of light, fueled by today’s resistance, informed on a scale I can not even dream of.  Oh, lucky kid.  Oh, better world.

The Bridge is all about Balance

Last week my friend, Patty, told me that I am a bridge.  I told her I am merely a translator.  We were talking about The Bridge Project which is a matching opportunity for feminists from different generations.  Joining feminists who come from different points of view, different generations has been a dream of mine and one of the central things I have written about over the last six years.

Somewhere in the patchwork of my mind, I have combined The Servant as Leader, Pedagogy of the Oppressed, Journey to the East,  and a fascination with what might have happened in India had Gandhi been successful in appointing Jinnah Prime Minister in 1939.  What happens when balance is properly estimated and power is distributed, particularly to those who are prepared but only lack seniority.  Is it the moral obligation of the majority to relinquish their accrued power and, more importantly, what happens when the minority is put in charge; would this extraordinary turnabout initiate an ethical revolution; a revolution in ethics.

I dream about such things; like the Christian Churches run by women, a Department of Peace with the same budget as the pentagon, proven healers running hospitals, inheritances bestowed before death, stripping away hierarchies entirely or the best teachers and schools assigned the poorest communities.  Yes, you could say, the lunatics running the asylum. 

Two things led me to this day-dreaming of mine.  One is testing veracity by considering the opposite.  I think that came from reading the Tao Te Ching a few hundred times.  It seems that one side of an equation can be tested and validated by weighing the opposite.  Logical minds love this stuff.  (yes, I believe it to be logical as opposed to idealistic or romantic)   The second thing is reading about the prisons in Tibet being annexed to the Monasteries.  Wouldn’t it just make sense to hand over the prisons to people who are spiritually committed to advancement; particularly people who are working on their own non-violence? 

Balance, it all comes down to balance; balance of power, balance of giving and receiving, balance of karmas, of the survivor and the perpetrator.  The balance is struck by volunteering power and construction of a common language with each side being the equal contributor and receiver of absolute value.   

I am not threatened by youth, I need young legs and strong arms to help carry my heavy load.  I am not threatened by minds sharper than mine, I need a keen eye to see the horizon and warn me of the cliff.  I may be confounded by the ease of gender fluidity but I love the joy that comes from authenticity.  I may not know much about your culture, your country, your family but I want your welcome and in wanting it, I create it.  I may be aging but your youth does not make me jealous ~ get over here and push my chair while we enjoy our camaraderie. 

What do I have that I can give you, that is wholesome, sustainable or just plain funny?  I ask you questions and you ask me.  It is in the asking and reaching deeply for the answers that we discover our value is shared.  Equality is ours to be. 

The BIG and the small of it.

Being a Buddhist, we believe that everything is always reaching for the higher good.  Trees, giraffes, beetles, people, cities, countries, movements, entire planets.  It is almost impossible to keep in mind, to maintain in the face of the Phelps, the 112th Congress, the anti-choice movement but regardless of how one might see it, it is always true.  Maybe that is why we are so attached to information, demonstration, congregation, in hopes of raising the bar of perception of what is good which is how things change.

Reading the signs of the times, here in the USA, it seems that the macrocosm is being called to make the  next advance in social justice.  It has been freedom of religion, the vote for women, interracial marriage and reproductive autonomy.  Now society is considering equality for Americans who are LGBTQAI.  One step forward, one step back, backlash, lean forward ~ ultimately it will not be denied as many/most now know it is the higher good.
   
The microcosm of the individual soul is always reaching for the highest good and in the context of the LGBTQAI movement, everyone is doing what they perceive to be the highest good.  Once achieved, the opportunity for another notch is uncovered.  People stretch a bit, achieve the place and when the next step is revealed they stretch again.
 
From closeted to standing with a bullhorn, there are a thousand steps on the labyrinth.  Big toe first, full foot second, maybe a leap to the next step; breathe.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh.  Next possibility and another stretch.  There is no reason to be impatient, judgmental, exasperated.  The way to move someone is to offer information, demonstrate another step toward the higher good, congregate to support taking that next step.  From HRC to getEQUAL from MCC to PFLAG, from Queer Rising to OCEC, there are many choices and those choices demonstrate all of the places where people are reaching for the highest good they perceive.  Making a sign and standing with a group, making a sign and stopping traffic, making a sign and standing sentry, being a sign and chaining to a fence; each is doing what they are called to do.
 
The national time schedule for change is about 150 years from idea to integration.  The individual finds it maddening – tick tock – it cannot be done in a single lifetime.  Just ask Moses, Alice Paul, Malcolm X or M.K. Gandhi ~ what they wanted to achieve they did not live to see.  How ever every person who holds the line, holds a sign, advances the tide, moves the marker in that 150 years is just as important as the one who crosses the finish line.
 
Lets not waste one more minute demanding anything; not one more minute disapproving of anyone; not a single second pouting that everyone doesn’t want to do it your preferred way.  Even better ~ do it all, approve of it all, figure out a way to make everyone right.  Pick your area, hold your line, stand and resist – irresistibly.  Do what is in front of you and skip judging other forms of activism as those activists are doing exactly what they are called to do.  PLUS ~  it is a moment lost in your activism.
 
So here’s the deal, some people boycott American Apparel and some people love their legalize gay & legalize trans campaigns.  Lets not sort it all out into good and bad.  Lets celebrate where everyone is and create some ease so each of us can DO JUST ONE MORE THING.  All hands on deck.

Welcome Everyone to the Front Line of Change

Now that all of the associated (and wildly successful)  events have passed, I want to describe a meeting I held at my house.  It was fascinating and the outcomes enlightening.  My mission was to coordinate a cadre of strong political activists with the least amount of friction, the most amount of encouragement and be of service.

To amplify this process; it is a lot like inviting 20 people over for dinner with the hope that each will have the very meal they want - never considering one homogenized menu.  The fact is that any demand for one meal would result in diminished feelings and opinions, curtailed expression, some would be ignored, some would lose interest and some would never even notice as they were swallowed up in their victory.  My plan was to offer the table, the plates, the kitchen, the fire extinguisher, the rolodex, protect their autonomy and support their choices. 

About an hour before I drew a map, illustrating the HUB (information bank and communication switch board) with the offer that I would do all I could to advance whatever they wanted to do.  I would not discourage anyone.  I would not require agreement, ask for a vote, spend one minute on consensus.  We do not need a single POV, a leader, a unified front.  All we had to know – we already did – everyone in the room wants to advance the EQUALITY movement. 

The energy that catapulted this meeting was The Exodus International Conference.   As is usually the case, collected expression arise when there is something to shine a light on.  Everyone who had seemed to be interested, was invited.  There were about twenty people, all from very different disciplines, different activism styles, with different ideas.  Again, the designing question was (and is) how can each group, though vastly different, be given free reign AND support.  For me, the most essential thing was to not ask for all the cascading arguments, emotions, stories, personalities to flood in and, maybe, clog the process.  To me nothing is more unequal. 

They were invited to form/or not form a group.  They could make their own rules, make their own agenda, create a name, schedule meetings, make decisions and fill in a circle on the map.  They could also indicate if the action was public or private.  The hub would offer emergency services, local personal reference, point inquiries to the right action.  Fundamentally, I said YES.  No matter what was asked, I just kept saying yes. 

Chaos broke out.  One person said, “Oh I know this is some old feminist thing.”  I just said yes.  One person said (in deep frustration) they could not do this without a mission statement, consensus, a board and a leader, (in fact, that person ended up managing a spectacular well-attended event).  Some people were genuinely angry, some were snide, some were confounded.  One person wrote a note for the one sitting next on the couch, which was left on the table and said “If this is chaos – I am out of here.”

CAKE BREAK.  Along with coffee and cake – the release of single focused energy in the room lifted a lot of the resistance to this process.   Groups began to naturally form.  Some wrote information in the action circles. 

Can you imagine a room with no one being told no?  It made some very uncomfortable but, fortunately, it made some people excited, empowered, dazzled by the experience.  A few spoke to the process, offering their understanding and enthusiasm to the ones who just found the whole thing irritating.  

A couple of weeks later I heard that two of the attendees went to their board and said that I was an old second wave lesbian and tried to control the whole thing.  I suppose in some ways that is true, if you consider refusing to dis-empower anyone by demanding that we all agree is controlling.  I have to figure that most people in the room do not study World Café, Margaret Wheatley, Robert Greenleaf, Diversity Leadership, The Circle Way, Servant Leadership, Positive Inquiry, etc.  That’s ok but I worry that the LGBTQAI movement is missing all of these wonderful, exciting ways of elevating, empowering, recognizing, maximizing, everyone – every idea – every method – every activist.

Lets us not waste another moment diminishing another activist’s methods, place on the political continuum, organizational styles, fear of confrontation or desire to confront.  Say yes, recognize the leader in each of us, welcome everyone to the front line of change, even when that line is as different for each of us as this is the very diversity we seek. 

The Suffering of Change

Friday I went to hear His Holiness, the Dalai Lama speak and to receive the Amitabha Buddha Initiation.  The Teaching was very complex, as Tibetan Buddhism always is.  There is a form of Buddhism for everyone and if you like complex diagrams, higher math and puzzles, Tibetan Buddhism may be the right one for you.  HHDL talked about the Four Noble Truths, the three turns of the Wheel of Dharma, the eight fold path, the three vehicles of Buddhism, the six transcendent perfections, etc.  After sitting in meditation halls, listening to complex Tibetan teachings for many, many years I know the best thing to do is to let it all pour through me, around me and not bother trying to keep careful score.  It is much more interesting to wait a bit and see what surfaces above the rest.
 
Embedded in the talk was a long section on the three forms of suffering, the second of which is the Suffering of Change.  It is my take-away.  Change is a central linchpin in my life.  Personally, I am not a fan of change.  I feel like I am hanging off a cliff at any given moment, testing the limits of social convention so when I am asked to change, yet again, I really dig in.  But I am persistent asking others to change.  Mostly I ask by just being in their vicinity.  I look like a big old nun (until the tattoo shows and no it is not a pin-up) and then I make sure to use a word or two that ruffles; queer, abortion, atheist, pacifist.  I like watching them adjust, like someone squinting on a bright afternoon exiting a dark movie theater.

I find it is interesting to mess with the lines of social convention ~ touching the border, reaching over the border for a split second.  When I was seven or eight and not allowed in my big brother’s room, I would stand at the line in the carpet, dabbing my big toe on the forbidden side for half a shake of a lamb’s tale, singing, na, na, na, na, na.  And then run for my life back to my room, throwing myself on the bed as if I had shattered a window or robbed a bank.  My brother appeared entirely bored but I was certain he was pretending.
 
Usually when I talk to a group, I gage my language, measure my anecdotes, jab a bit, push a little; test them for tolerance and me for good judgment.   It’s a skill figuring out how much you can ask of people before they can’t hear any more.  And recently it sure seems that a lot of people are freaking out.  Every day there are news stories about people working to stop change; unprecedented numbers of organized protesters outside of over two hundred Planned Parenthood clinics, anti-health care reform demonstrators with anti-etiquette acting out, neo-nazis in Riverside exploding over immigration laws, tea partiers brandishing posters of the president as an African cartoon or dictator icons.  Conservative Americans are flailing at sea.

They are up to their elbows and earlobes in the Suffering of Change.  Society is changing; that is the fact.  As society advances, people want to be paid, be well, be equal.  Today, humanity, in all her variations, is demanding and, occasionally, seizing equality.  The US government is on the brink of joining the rest of the Western world in caring for all citizens, well and sick.  Women are ascending, ever so slowly.  Wages, weather, weapons, vehicles, riches, taxes; change is rising above the surface and cannot be ignored.

Conservatives are drowning in the Suffering of Change and one way or another they are going to find out that the Suffering of Change is relieved by detaching from the familiar or by embracing the unknown.  The worst possible thing to do is try to stop the change; it is a sure fire failure.
 
Watching people work so hard to resist these modern changes is sort of painful.  I do not celebrate that people are frightened by the changes that are unfolding, inevitable, well under way.  I find it truly sad and so upsetting that they are torturing and killing changemakers.  Like my brother sitting at his desk in his room, while his obnoxious little sister taunts him at the threshold, it is best to not run out yelling, throw a few slaps, slam the door; better to endure, feign indifference or, better yet, just realize that this is what kids do as they grow up and become responsible adults.

The Implosion of a Mountain of Bigotry

There is something so palpable afoot in America today.  You can see it in print, feel it in the crowds, hear it on the radio, maybe even watch it at your family dinner table.  Things are changing.  Looking back it seems kind of funny that Barack Obama used the slogan Change You Can Believe In.  The fact of life is that change is always happening and all pain dwells in trying to stop it, control it, ignore it, deny it.
 
But the country is heaving with change these days.  The people who want no change (some even want to go backwards) are so morally, emotionally, spiritually bankrupt that they can only behave like bullies, village idiots, buffoons.  You can find them at town halls, on the Mall, protesting high school performances of Rent, forcing truancy on their kids to avoid hearing a Black man to tell them to work hard in school and to wash their hands.  They are birthers, deathers, yellers, shouters, blusterers; fundamentally they are gasping on fumes of their own exhale.

President Carter said that he believes some of the animosity being thrown at President Obama is happening because some Americans (mostly Southerners) do not believe an African American could be qualified to lead the country.  I think that is a very light touch on the mountain of bigotry that is bubbling underneath an ever thinning veneer.  I believe that this particular group of people cannot follow a Black leader, cannot be led by a Black leader.  And to go a bit deeper on this subject, they cannot reconcile that they made much of this possible through granting full citizenship to Black men, integrating schools, enacting affirmative action.  As I heard a woman on KPFK say, (I am sorry I did not get her name) “Once he got elected, some people were shocked that it happened and their hoods fell off.”  My opinion is that if you don’t see that this is all about racism, you need to do a lot of work on your racism.  To hear Mr. Gibbs say today, at the White House Press conference, that President Obama thinks this has nothing to do with race was so unauthentic, so insincere, so disheartening that I can only shake my head in disgust that it is so bad, Barack Obama cannot address this obvious racial bigotry.  I do understand that it would contribute to its volatility for him to name it; but it is pathetic.

We are in an arm wrestling tournament in regards to health care.  This is only and all about caring for others who did not accrue the ability to care for themselves.  On one hand, this is very, very complicated.  Are they poor?  Are they unable to work?  Are they lazy?  The racists might even think that not caring for the poor is one way to keep people of color from advancing – hoping for a high mortality rate, not just for babies, but for those who have no access to wellness, good food, clean water and clean air.  (and yes, they are really pissed off that one Barack Obama broke out of the hobbled pack)  But on the other hand it could not be easier; we have enough for every man, woman and child to be cared for and to deny that care is immoral.  I believe that only conversation that should be going on in regards to health care is how to take care of everyone ASAP.

Progressives are collecting their spirit, counting breaths, identifying causes, holding the line of sight on Equality.  All of this push back is ugly, scary, should I even say ~ violent but it means people can feel that change is a comin’. 

It will be a Day People Died For

If you read anything I have written, chances are very great that it will be about women.  It usually is some observation about what women need; occasionally it is about what women have accomplished.  Lesbianism found a strong voice in my mind and writing, as women loving women seems to be just an obvious outcome.  And, with a dash of humor, I have to admit men just are not lining up to know more about women with ONE notable exception ~ yes, lesbians are very good at that.

I am compassionate, passionate, empathic, very socially curious and a Black family in the White House is deeply engaging.  The radiant treasure is that there are two young girls who will be using the children’s secret garden and rolling eggs in the Spring.  The next president of the United States is an extraordinary man whose life story is like no other ~ this is no everyman.  My conscience requires me to be enthusiastic about President Obama and his family.

However let us stop and take some inventory about the week of Jan 18 – Jan 25, 2009.  The 19th is Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Day and on that Mall, on August 28th 1963 Dr King dreamt of the day that will be January 20, 2009.  The Mall will finally be that Resurrection City, rising from the miles walked, meals missed, dogs biting, hoses spewing to a Black man taking on the job of Abraham Lincoln at one end – to George Washington at the other.  January 20, 2009 will be a day people died for. 

January 22, there will be millions of Americans demonstrating on both sides of the 1972 court decision of Roe v. Wade.  Pro-choice people will be commemorating the lives of women who bled to death from amateur abortions to doctors who were assassinated for performing safe and legal abortions.  Anti-choice people will be praying, marching and demonstrating on behalf of lives, which they believe are murdered before even breathing air.  Each of these “sides” with full hearts and developed intentions will have their day.

In the midst of all this advancement, networking, demonstrating I am called back to that one issue that drives my life; the unrelenting desire for full equality for men and women under the law, pay equity and equal opportunity.  The presidential cabinet is 5/15 ~ one third is women.  The Senate and House have not made significant strides at all.  The US has slipped to 71st in the world in women in leadership. 

Obama and his economic team are stating that job creation will the center piece for the new economic super-structure.  There is talk of millions of jobs in construction and engineering.   As Linda Hirshman has pointed out in the New York Times, Where are the New Jobs for Women?, women make up 9% of construction workers and 12% of engineers.  Today, on Hardball, she expanded the discussion to include job creation for more women in healthcare, education, libraries and the arts.

But let me go even further, we must also take into account that women must be paid as their lives require.  I am considering that paying women the same as men (instead of the 77 cents for White women and 69 cents for Black and .. and .. and) is not even enough as more and more women are single heads of households.  Many women need paid maternity leave and childcare. 

As we go round and round about who should hold the Senate seat Hillary Clinton is vacating, what of the thousands of women who are out of work, not being considered as a class in the grand scheme of the economic re-structuring?  What happened to the idea that we must seat the first last and the last first?  Women need to work, for wages which meet the needs of their lives.  Women must be fifty one per cent in every sector, working for equal wages and full benefits. 

Tolerance is not Enough

Tomorrow there will be tables of people, eating together and priding themselves that they are tolerating others all afternoon.  Sitting cross-legged, folded arms and editing nouns for several hours so as not to incite anything.  Tight lipped, hiding (hidden) from controversy, protecting relationships or beliefs, with a promise to the host that, “nothing bad will happen to ruin the big day.”

Toleration offered, as the ultimate gift, from a position of distance or refraining from offence does not breathe.  What could possibly happen if crossed limbs unraveled and questions, from genuine curiosity, were submitted without guile.  

• Why do you wear a headscarf?
• What is the difference between being an Arab and being Muslim?
• Why do some people think their race is better than another?
• Why would you want to be able to marry?
• Do you think children with same sex parents will be ok?
• Will you marry now that you have kids?

Like a three year old White kid who asks their first Black playmate if the “color rubs off?”  when questions are asked with the intention of wanting to know ~ what occurs is the opposite of harm ~ closeness becomes possible.  Inquiry, from non-judgment, is the bridge to somewhere. 

November 24 the YWCA released a report that Gen Y wants this new President, administration and re-boot of American society to address discrimination due to race and religion.  I would tell these surveyed young women that equality in the US begins with the Constitution.  The ERA, pay equity and including everyone in the Constitution is the fundamental and lasting place to start.  (I believe they did not list it because they do not know they are not included.)

And I want to tell them that I agree whole-heartedly that religion must be addressed.  It is what currently separates us and informs all of the big “family values” issues.  A few years ago my mentor, who was one of the founders of NOW, told me that originally NOW had a religion committee and chair.  She contacted the president of NOW and told her about me.  She was told that NOW will never have a religion committee ever again.  I think they consider it divisive but, in reality, it is religion that builds walls and, in doing so, righteous believers have both the capability and the responsibility to disassemble them.  The desire to understand is the most powerful wrecking ball. 

Ah, back to the Thanksgiving table.  Tolerance is not enough.  It is postponing the judgment and offering insincerity.  Those who built the walls are the ones to begin the demolition.  The effective tool is guileless inquiry.  Those who are walled out, walled in, who are holding their tongue and hiding their lives will melt in relief and reach back in gratitude.  Lets all agree with His Holiness the Dalai Lama who says, “Kindness is my religion.”