OnLine With Zoe

An Iconic Event

There is a very interesting post on Feministing.com asking readers to vote on feminist icons.  And they ask the question, do we even want icons?   Do they serve a purpose in this vast ocean of information we swim through every day?  I sat and really thought about whose picture on the cover of a magazine would instantly relay to me that this is a feminist and a champion of feminism.  From Magdalene to Ginsberg, from Sappho to diFranco, from Gentileschi to Kahlo, Cleopatra to Maloney - I have hundreds in mind whose lives advanced gender equality whether they meant to or not. 

But today I think it is not icons we need but an iconic event.  We need to shift the expectation of inequality; the natural acceptance of less pay, less respect, injustice, poor education, diminishing reproductive freedom, sexism in all its forms.  We need to admit that it is both an impossibility and unreasonable request to put this all on a single human being or even a group of people.  Yes, it can begin with a small group of people but now we are tilting at a tipping point.   

Feminism has reached as far as it can on the shoulders of individuals and now we must, as a collective consciousness, call for all genders, in all its variations of expression, to offer our services to Mother Earth and manifest equality.  Our minds must hold full pictures of the world as we want it to be.  As we travel, work and simply live ~ we must posit equality in each step, each action, each intention. 

You may recall that Gandhi believed that the will of millions of Indians could not be permanently neutralized by 100,000 British soldiers.  His teachings are that when enough injustices had been made visible, imperialism would lose its strangle hold.  As the British oppression became increasing intolerable, Indians' belief shifted, they reclaimed their autonomy in their minds and, ultimately, the British walked out of India.

So let us all agree today ~ enough is enough.  I am going create a world of equality through my will, my mind, my intention.  Breeches will be instantly recognizable because they clash with my direct belief.  Lets start each day expecting justice, holding the intention by saying, "I am grateful that today there will be more justice in the world."      

Happy Birthday to His Holiness!

Happy Birthday to His Holiness the Dalai Lama!

In the land encircled by snow mountains
You are the source of all happiness and good;
All-powerful Chenrezig, Tenzin Gyatso,
Please remain until samsara ends.

The best humanity has to offer

So long ago, 1982, I just joined a few women to fast.  Dick Gregory flew to town, sat with us, fasted on air and told us that he made a primary commitment to fasters around the world.  He explained that only the side of right, the side of light and truth could fast.  Hey, lets be honest, I was thinking what is this grandstanding anti-gay black man doing here sitting with us?

Oh do I get it now.  Fasting is simply irresistible.  Once you have put the body at rest (not processing food) and listened to the interior whispers of your own spirit, you know.  You know where you have been.  You know where other fasters are.  Maybe it is like that surfer who found that perfect wave and its memory is a polished jewel of a thought in a perfect storm of thoughts. 

For the last nine days, there are fasters on campus at Columbia University.  It is occurring because of many grievances against the administration and the blatant racism practiced on campus.  I would not presume to know the nuance of the protest.  I do feel confident in saying that Dick Gregory was right ~ in all the fasts I have known of ~ they are always shining light on the advancement of humanity.  They are always asking the observer to liberate themselves from the darkness of oppression.  They are the best humanity has to offer. That is why I want to thank these fasters.  Because of them, I ask more of me.

If you want to read about the fast at Columbia, leave a comment of support and track their process, visit their blog. 

A Proud Day for America

Today, George Walker Bush met with His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  Tomorrow, Congress will bestow upon His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet, the United States Congressional Gold Medal of Honor. 

In recognition of his enduring and outstanding contribution to peace, non-violence, human rights, and religious understanding. webcast.  For once the US is doing the right thing and I want to pause, breathe it in and be glad that I am an American ~ and its been a long time since I have felt that way. 

My heart just may burst.  You can watch the whole event live on a

Tuesday, China issued a warning that we better not honor the Dalai Lama.  They do not want HHDL to be recognized as a leader, welcomed to Congress and given an award.  They have said that it will have “an extremely serious impact” on relations between the countries.  Gee, ya think?  Maybe more lead on the toys, poison in the food and toothpaste?  This from the country that has murdered, tortured and raped the most peaceful people on the face of the earth ~ the Tibetans.

On the day this picture was taken, this esteemed exiled Tibetan leader walked into the room of excited American people.  He stepped up to the mic and said that he was not our teacher but he would be our spiritual friend.  For those of you who do not know, that is an actual relationship among Tibetan Buddhists.  He went on to say that he brought us a very special teaching, one particularly for Westerners.  The room was a buzz as if something most esoteric was about to transpire (for those of us who read too much Castaneda).

Warm Heart

Open Mind

Small Steps

And then he giggled like you wanted to but had become too sophisticated somewhere along the way since age 5 to that day.  In case you don't know - I love him.  I really love him.  Don't know why and don't really care.  He makes me happy - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Coming out on a very thin edge

One of my great friends, Everett, told me that everyday we come out in another way.  Of course you can choose to not come out, to stay cloaked and hidden, but you are the only one who suffers because you are the only one who will not see ~ as no one else is looking!  :-) seriously ~ that is one of the great secrets of the world ~ no one else is looking.  However overcoming that illusion is known as Self-Discovery.

In 1982 I left social activism and political embroilment for full-time, full-throttle spiritual practice.  I took it very seriously, as is my way.  Reading, practice, study consumed my life.  There was a time, too long of a time it seemed, that I thought public spiritual practice and teaching would be my path.  I wrote a book, Matri, Letters from the Mother ,in 1996, believing it was going to be my calling card to the world of teaching self-discovery through devotion to the Divine Mother.  I love that little book and I do believe it was divinely inspired.  I did not get any lasting traction with that book.  Three women, in Denver, Vermont and Connecticut have ordered it by the dozens, but other than that - it is just a little "sweet cake,"  known as prasad in India.  I think of it often and when asked the better questions, they are answered in Matri.

In March,2006 I asked the Mother for something, as is my way; Explicit service to the Divine Mother in working to advance American women.  I asked for just one little nod from the universe every day that this was a proper request and in balance with my destiny.  I suppose the expression, DUCK AND COVER, would be appropriate: an email, nine emails, a booking for a talk, book orders, eventually travel and finally an election.  It was an avalanche.  I guess it was the right request.

One habit that has continued through all of my phases is going to movies on Friday.  It is my two hour, weekly vacation.  Yesterday I saw The Darjeeling Limited.  I knew going in that it was about three brothers taking a train through India - and what's to say about Adrien Brody and Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman? - hey, need a weird old aunt?  I am available. 

The scene in India opens with a business man running to catch the train.  There he was, one of the most influential people in my life ~ Larry Darrell.  He was standing on the tracks, missing the train in fact.  I have no idea if anyone else thinks so - but I KNOW SO.  It was Larry Darrell from Lake Forest,Illinois. I was very young when I first read his story, The Razor's Edge, by Somerset Maugham.  I fell in love with Larry and wanted to be his beloved fiance, Isabel.  In Paris, he asked her to marry him, travel, read, dance, and live on his stipend of $3,000 a year, a king's ransom at the time.  She said no; not enough money, not enough prestige, not enough advancement, simply not enough for that girl from Lake Forest, Illinois.  I would have said yes. 

Then one day (on the redundant road to Damascus) it occurred to me that I did not want to be Isabel at all.  I wanted to be Larry.  I wanted to live in Paris on 3K a year, read, dance, eat cheese & bread, and go to India.  I had Larry's curiosity, his intensity, his longing.  I was nothing like Isabel.  You would be right to think it was another marker on the road to becoming an activist for gender equality. 

And so in some odd way, I became Larry Darrell, from Lake Forest, Illinois.  I got to spend all those years in practice and study.  He went to India and met his teacher, some think it was Ramana Maharshi.  I met Rama and spent 11 years as his student, chronicled in The Passionate Heart. 

After leaving, I spent years reading spiritual books, watching spiritual movies, meditating and then, like Larry after circumnabulating Arunachala, I left the hermitage of my little private life.  Larry went on to be a cab driver, as last reported, and I found my destiny in the American Women's Movement. 

Upon departure from India, Larry asked his Guru if it is easier to be a holy man on the top of a mountain.  Larry's teacher told him to be cautious that the path to Enlightenment is like a Razor's Edge.  Maybe I should drive a cab, as today the American Women's Movement makes a razor's edge look shiny and wide.

Happy 72nd Birthday!

I am so happy that today we can celebrate that His Holiness is 72.  He is in Australia, launching Kindness Week.  Sounds like a great party to me.  Yesterday about 5000 people met His Holiness at the Irwin Zoo on Queensland's Sunshine Coast.  He met Terri Irwin, her children and a koala, as he spoke about kindness to animals.

I've got a Secret

I promised myself that I would not "blog" today.  I have a lot to do but it is simply irresistible.  The word, blog, is so blotchy, abbreviated and fails miserably compared to what the verb means to me.  It calls my very best, that which I am drawn to share ~ write on the walls of my cave.  Maybe a tourist will enter with a torch and find a bit of rest or sustenance.

The Secret is getting so much attention.  Oprah and Ellen say they have been practicing conscious creation all their lives and it seems evident.  Of course, I can only chortle, "we all have; its just that you two asked for better stuff." 

Many years ago, when I was working in The Magic Speller Bookstore, there were two extraordinary sisters who came in to shop.  They had a limousine with a driver.  They ordered the most expensive and esoteric books.  I knew the books.  They knew the authors.  One day they told me that they we meeting with a group of meditators in the valley, San Fernando Valley that is.  They met with several of the authors and used their focus to diminish and, ultimately, stave off earthquakes.  Brava!  What more can one say?  Brava!

Now the marketeers have brought The Secret to the American masses.  okey dokey.  I can celebrate that.  But I am sad that they teach its application in only four areas - areas in which we already have too much focus; money, diet, sex and jobs.  And I hear nothing about money for philanthropy, healthy diets for the poor, wholesome sex with reproductive intelligence and jobs which advance society.

Could they offer the same paint-by-number directions to:

1. help a family develop unity and clarity
2. lift our neighborhoods out of violence
3. spread health and information to dispel disease
4. bring joy and community to the lonely
5. posit honesty and leadership into national politics
6. bring conversation and patience to enemies
7. light our souls and flood hearts with kindness

Oh well, its no secret what a fool I am.  I have been consciously creating it for many years, many lifetimes. 

Servant as Leader

I went to dinner this week with a couple of friends.  Naturally the conversation moved to politics, both local and national.  One of my friends said that just like among the progressives, the women's movement has, "no leaders."  This sentence is maddening.  It is cliche and flits through our minds like a giant gnat.  It is a sentence that is hypnotic and we must unweave its hold on us.  It has no legs.  It is not true.

Who are the famous?  and what is their nauseating attraction?  What are these pedestals we build that place untouchables in rarified air?  Yes, Bono and the Gates are doing wonderful things.  No, Paris Hilton and Jackass 2 are not messengers.  Magazine covers with air-brushed people, are not signposts.  These are not leaders.  In fact our leaders are not on pedestals or magazine covers. 

In the chambers of the heart and soul, leaders abound.  They are the people who wait with patience.  They are the polite ones on support calls.  They are the parents who ask.  They are the teachers who hear.  They are the brave who take a stand.  They are the visionaries who believe in tomorrow.  They are the prophets who delight in change and human evolution.  They are the ones who integrate yesterday with the hope of tomorrow and make today just that much better.   

If you don't know these leaders, it is not their fault.  If you do not notice these leaders, it is not for their lack of inspiration.  Their recognition is in your hands, your eyes, your mind.  "The prophet grows in stature as people respond to his message." writes Robert Greenleaf in his essay, The Servant as Leader.   

In his words, "I now embrace the theory of prophecy which holds that prophetic voices of great clarity, and with a quality of insight equal to that of any age, are speaking cogently all the time.  Men and women of a stature equal to the greatest of the past are with us now addressing the problems of the day and pointing to a better way and to a personeity better able to live fully and serenely in these times." 

The essay, The Servant as Leader, may be the most wonderful thing I have read since Emerson.  And Robert Greenleaf is all that I would ask of a thinker, a seeker, a teacher and a leader.  I choose to make him a leader, which is the point.  Who your leader is ~ is entirely up to you.  If no one inspires you, I would ask if your flint is dry.  Can you be ignited? 

Dreaming of Teaching

   For some unknown reason I have woken up for two consecutive mornings dreaming of teaching completely developed, intricate and enticing classes.  Deep in my soul I believe that I was born to teach religious studies and philosophy to young people, maybe I just keep incarnating during times like the Spanish Inquisition when teaching religion has not been a "healthy" or secure profession.   

     Friday I woke up pouring over the curriculum for Cross-Cultural Beliefs.  This class studies the evolution of beliefs which unfold in countries and on continents.  For example in India, it begins will Bon, leads to Vedanta, Hinduism and Islam with an examination of what happened during the British occupation and missions of Christianity.  The course examines how beliefs actually transform within a culture; what caused the change, why was the previously held system open to change, did the growing complexity and diversity make life better?  During the dream I was planning a week on the genesis of Australian beliefs, closing with a showing of Weir's The Last Wave about the white man's world clashing with the Aboriginals. 

     Today I woke up planning a course, The Examined Life and the Etiquette of Curiosity.  The stated commitment was that no conclusions would be made in class.  The point being that interrogation does not require action or that interrogation is the action.  The class was not to lead the students to a certain choice or belief (such a when does life being) but rather to make it clear that to not ask is the true lapse of conscience.  Like my first teaching job, this was a class of all boys.  We began each day reading the local paper together, landing on a particular story to really analyze.  I suppose head-butting would be on the burner for this week.

     In both of these classes, chairs were arranged in a circle.  That is something I did in 1971, having read the fascinating work of Edward T. Hall; The Hidden Dimension and The Silent Language.  Today such things are revolutionary with dialog circles and cafes.  But I think that ultimately we are all just trying to replace the extended family dinner table or the tribal counsel where conversations were the center of leadership, camaraderie, information and learning.

     I have no idea why I have such dreams.  They are my primary and life-long recurring ones.  No matter the interpretation, the fact is that I grieve every day that schools are not teaching such classes.  I sat in front of my TV last night wondering who are the people of Hamas and Hezbollah.  What is in their hearts?  Would I be one of them if I lived there?   How is it that their god requires killing and dying.  Will their culture become more deeply rooted in this vengeful idol or will death finally break so many hearts that their god will transform into an angel of comfort.  I don't know.  I just don't know. 

Lines of Power ~ Part One

I know all too much about the Guru/student relationship.  Maybe I should say, I know all too much as Westerner about the Guru/student relationship.  I am certain I know all too much as a feminist about the Guru/student relationship.  I was in a formal, structured and resolute Guru/student relationship for over eleven years.  At first it was a relief to be asked so much and give so much but as the years unrolled, with the deepening of feminism, politics, social activism and personal self-discovery, the structure became not just unlivable, but unethical. 

I have written extensively about my disdain for the top ~ down movement of power in lineage.  Maybe it is right as rain for the patriarchy, I am not sure.  Maybe linear transmission was a balanced form when elders and seniors and teachers lived in fully integrated intergenerational communities; when older members of the tribe were the sole living libraries ~ holding truth, form, text, music, art, etc.  They were sought out, treasured and wrung dry by curious, unquenchable, young seekers.

These days I am unraveling old ideas and discovering new ones about intergenerational sharing.  Before I build on any conclusions, I want to really examine the circles, the sources and ethical transfers of power.  These are a couple of my concerns ~ Here in the West, though exceptions do exist, seeking insight from elders is not respected, developed or rewarded.  While you may know a few occasions where the long standing form of mentor and apprentice are working, overall it is lost to history, talked about as if it is pastoral.  Secondly, the glut of information available in a click or a google makes the wait for an elder to show up with an insightful jewel unreasonable.  (I taught myself to knit with an on-line video teacher)  In many cases, people are no longer the most accessible, reliable, encyclopedic or educational resource. 

As a feminist and political/spiritual activist I am very interested in lines of power.  Who has it?  How does it travel in a community?  Can it be done in such a way that empowers the seeker and validates the elder without an assumption of one as higher and one as lower?  Could this be the antidote to the terrible misuses of power by many western gurus, teachers and authority figures?  And, finally, what are we missing by not reaching across generations?