The answers were really interesting and I am not all together certain when they will fully unfold and be available for reliable conclusions. Broken heart, faulty expectations, thrilling new people, more love than I was prepared for and deep regard for civil rights. At 61 I am still shocked that civil rights aren’t obvious, (see there is something constant in the life of an activist). Justice; I want it, I am willing to work for it, we need it, lets get it. As my friend Melissa relayed a chant she heard while marching up Pennsylvania Avenue, “We here. We’re queer. We’re fabulous. Don’t fuck with us.” Yeah, that about sums it up.
On the phone today, trying to explain how I feel, all I could really say is that I am standing still while a diorama of events is roaring past me, around me; almost knocking me over. I hesitate to pluck one out of the rampage to examine it but feel conflicted that the impact might lose its muster if I don’t.
I am going to use what my new tribe of MARCH ON asked me in their exit interview (their 174th of the day) to talk about a couple of highs and lows of the experience.
Within the holy walls of NOW I had both highs and lows. Rainbow tee shirts, 654 facebook MARCH 4 EQUALITY NOW fans, purple rounds, sisters collecting on 15th Street after months of fund raising, plane tickets, support that feminist poets wax on about. National leaders not marching with us, not writing about the march on the blog, not endorsing until three weeks before the march – makes me mournful. I say that somewhat sheepishly but it is my reality and for those who look beyond the surface they will know it could only be felt by one who loves NOW, maybe a bit too much.
When my NOW family began their march to the Capitol, I waved goodbye and took off to find a cab; believing that I would get to the West Lawn when it was empty and could stake out our space. The driver got me 2 miles ahead in the 2.4 mile march and I found myself at 10th and Pennsylvania. The march was well under way, marchers as far as one could see in either direction AND when I got to the lawn, it was already half full. Maybe I didn’t know anyone, know their name or they know mine, but it was family ~ LGBTQAI Family. It was radiant, dazzling, beautiful family. I felt loved and safe.
An hour later my tribe arrived, straggling in with ridiculous smiles, squeezy hugs and ready to rally. Lady Gaga, god and the gays delivered 4 hours of talks and song while we sat on the grass. My most adored Advocate friend, who works tirelessly for LGBT, was given a backstage pass! Oh at last, after two months of trying to get her 5 minutes at the mic to salute West Hollywood’s commitment to LGBT rights and acknowledge the Third Wave of NOW, she got to the right place, at the right time when one of the four principle organizers tells her to leave immediately or she will BE removed, as she is not “ one of us.” Who is this us? Am I one of US? I don’t want to be one of THAT us. I am ashamed. I am ashamed of us.Like the Obamas playing roses and thorns at the dinner table; the whole weekend held highs and lows but using this metaphor ~ I am stuck with a few powerful thorns and a dozen, dozen, dozen roses.
I'm so glad I was able to march besides you and NOW!
Posted by: Tracy Greene | October 15, 2009 at 04:16 PM
Here I am reading piecemeal about all the work you and many, many other women have laboured tirelessly, and I feel very humbly umprepared. I, who never joines anything---I am not a joiner!!Still I thought that your New campaign should benefit by likeminded women's desire to get what is merely a "Human right". Why is it necessary to fight in order to be "human?"--well, we all know why; and isn't that a sad commentary for a "world community" where the CIVIL in the Civil Rights and the human in Human Rights are merely and only empty vessels and pretentious, preposterous add-ons.
Posted by: Alida Bosaz | October 15, 2009 at 05:12 PM
I love that this is the first in a series. It is passionate, articulate, and truthful...the very adjectives I use to describe my experience at the march. Thank you, thank you, for making that experience possible for me and my NOW sisters.
Posted by: Melissa | October 15, 2009 at 05:18 PM
I read your blog right after watching the first two episodes of MadMen, which I had never watched before. I was overwhelmed by what a stifling, oppressive world it was for women (and it gave me a profound respect for the women of that generation) and then I read your blog and felt inspired by the courage of you and the other marchers. Thank you.
Posted by: Dave | October 15, 2009 at 09:34 PM
I love what you wrote - I feel just the same way. All in all it was a very moving experience, but it did leave me feeling a little confused here and there. Thats life I guess.
Lets just keep MARCHING!
Posted by: Camille Bright-Smith | October 16, 2009 at 09:45 AM
Hey Zoe - GREAT POST! I agree and relate with so much. If you don't mind, please send me the name of the person that didn't let your friend participate. I'm so sorry that that happened.
Posted by: Robin McGehee | October 16, 2009 at 03:55 PM