Today, as I was sitting at the Hollywood NOW table at the Love Your Body Day celebration, a woman stopped and asked me if it would be okay to ask me a question. Of course, I said. She covered her mouth with her hand for a moment and then removed it to say, “Do you mind being overweight?” I laughed and said no, not at all; certainly not in the ways she wanted me to mind.
As we talked for a long time, she told me that she is 68. She had once been overweight but worked really hard on it and continues. She was so small, maybe 5’2’ and 115 lbs. Then she got to the important point, she is terribly worried about her daughter. She said when they take her grandchildren to MacDonald’s she finds it impossible to watch her daughter eat french fries. I laughed again and said, well I won’t be eating with you either. You mean to say that if we go out and I order an hot fudge sundae and you order what ever you want, you will be disturbed that I am eating ice cream? Yes, she said.
She inquired further, aren’t you worried about your health? I told her that it seems to me that 1) worry is unhealthy & 2) it is no ones business but my own. I told her that each of us has a 3x5 card entitled, MY BUSINESS; that no ones body should be on that card but our own. Her daughter’s body should not be on her card at all.
She just said it was too hard. I asked her how she felt about all the fabulous fat women at the event today, high heels, sexy, all glammed up for the fashion show. She was really uncomfortable with it. I told her that the judge inside her head, sitting high up in her perfect black robe needed to be fired. She was not popular, making any friends and doing a lot of harm. Finally I told her to go to the most expensive bakery in her neighborhood, buy their very best cake, take it to her daughter and tell her that she was sorry. Tell her that she could not change all at once but she would keep working on telling that judge, YOU’RE FIRED.
I suppose that was my mom. She was so ashamed of me, taking me to the chubby department, putting gussets in my girl scout uniform, telling me often how terrible things fit. My First Communion dress has to be made as I did not fit in the ones in the store.
Mom’s who cannot love their daughters, big or small, pierced or inked, dressed in ways that confound, suffer a torture of their own design. I hope daughters find themselves and end this terrible legacy. Lane Bryant, Torrid, INC; Love Your Body Day and Chenese Lewis you are healing a generation.
Zoe,
This is such a beautiful piece. That day was magical. I am so happy to have been a part of it!
Posted by: John Erickson | November 06, 2011 at 11:53 PM
Society judges people so quickly especially women. People buy the judgment. Harm and pain occurs. This is acceptable BULLYING. In life buying and selling is constantly occurring. The media is constantly selling. People are constantly buying the crap media told them. Tears occur. Scars run deep. Generations are emotionally and mentally marred, BUT SOME are happy because they made money off this facade.
Posted by: Kim Vida | January 06, 2012 at 04:52 PM