Embedded in the talk was a long section on the three forms of suffering, the second of which is the Suffering of Change. It is my take-away. Change is a central linchpin in my life. Personally, I am not a fan of change. I feel like I am hanging off a cliff at any given moment, testing the limits of social convention so when I am asked to change, yet again, I really dig in. But I am persistent asking others to change. Mostly I ask by just being in their vicinity. I look like a big old nun (until the tattoo shows and no it is not a pin-up) and then I make sure to use a word or two that ruffles; queer, abortion, atheist, pacifist. I like watching them adjust, like someone squinting on a bright afternoon exiting a dark movie theater.
I find it is interesting to mess with the lines of social convention ~ touching the border, reaching over the border for a split second. When I was seven or eight and not allowed in my big brother’s room, I would stand at the line in the carpet, dabbing my big toe on the forbidden side for half a shake of a lamb’s tale, singing, na, na, na, na, na. And then run for my life back to my room, throwing myself on the bed as if I had shattered a window or robbed a bank. My brother appeared entirely bored but I was certain he was pretending.
Usually when I talk to a group, I gage my language, measure my anecdotes, jab a bit, push a little; test them for tolerance and me for good judgment. It’s a skill figuring out how much you can ask of people before they can’t hear any more. And recently it sure seems that a lot of people are freaking out. Every day there are news stories about people working to stop change; unprecedented numbers of organized protesters outside of over two hundred Planned Parenthood clinics, anti-health care reform demonstrators with anti-etiquette acting out, neo-nazis in Riverside exploding over immigration laws, tea partiers brandishing posters of the president as an African cartoon or dictator icons. Conservative Americans are flailing at sea.
They are up to their elbows and earlobes in the Suffering of Change. Society is changing; that is the fact. As society advances, people want to be paid, be well, be equal. Today, humanity, in all her variations, is demanding and, occasionally, seizing equality. The US government is on the brink of joining the rest of the Western world in caring for all citizens, well and sick. Women are ascending, ever so slowly. Wages, weather, weapons, vehicles, riches, taxes; change is rising above the surface and cannot be ignored.
Conservatives are drowning in the Suffering of Change and one way or another they are going to find out that the Suffering of Change is relieved by detaching from the familiar or by embracing the unknown. The worst possible thing to do is try to stop the change; it is a sure fire failure.
Watching people work so hard to resist these modern changes is sort of painful. I do not celebrate that people are frightened by the changes that are unfolding, inevitable, well under way. I find it truly sad and so upsetting that they are torturing and killing changemakers. Like my brother sitting at his desk in his room, while his obnoxious little sister taunts him at the threshold, it is best to not run out yelling, throw a few slaps, slam the door; better to endure, feign indifference or, better yet, just realize that this is what kids do as they grow up and become responsible adults.